I'm sitting right now and coding an interface between Java and Erlang using JInterface, and the actual JInterface part is pretty good. It makes Java act as an Erlang node. But Java is just a horrible, horrible language.
Everything on the Java side gets so bloated it is just silly. What would take one line on the Erlang side can easily take 20 lines on the Java side.
I know you are just trolling, but...
Swing is the most horrible toolkit I've ever tried to use. Even monkeys can make a better one.
Eclipse is never needed for a real language, if you need an IDE, there is something wrong with your language.
Java does the opposite of trying to help you shoot yourself in the foot, by making the code bloated and spread out. More lines = more bugs, that is the simple fact.
Just-in-time does not make java "just as fast" automatically. I have 8 cores on my machine, and I can easily and safely make Erlang programs that max out all of them, and without any mutexes. The mutex model is just broken and as we move to more and more cores, you need languages that can easily and safely scale.
"Java unicode from the ground up", MY ASS! Why would you even make .toString() the default when converting from one type to the next. You always want .getBytes()!!!!
And stop smoking your crack for at least 5 seconds before lying to yourself about Fortune 500 companies not hiring anything but Java programmers. What do you think they coded Facebook chat in, for just one example? Not Java!
That should be enough fodder for the trolls.