Idk, my girlfriend of five years just spend all weekend (approx 30 hours of game time) playing Path of Exile with me, in the new 1 month challenge league.
She's been having me teach her things so she can improve in League of Legends, and wants to get as good as I am so we can duoqueue together in ranked.
There definitely are girls out there who are looking for nerds/gamers. The problem is most of them are subjected to so many supercreepy "oh there's a girl in voice chat in this raid I'm going to queue my mic and begin masturbating" and "white knight everything she says or does and follow her around like a puppy dog" type "gamer guys" that they're terrified of going anywhere near the rest of us nerds.
I got lucky and found a girl who had been sheltered from online gaming, she had only played Nintendo games prior to meeting me.
If nerds/gamers want to find women who won't reject them, they need to stop being awful people to every girl playing games first. Once gamer girls feel safe actually admitting to being girls in games online, gamer guys won't be rejected en masse by them anymore.
My wife and I game too (Notice - I said WIFE). We've been married for almost 24 years.
We love games like DAI/Skyrim - She plays as a thief, I as a Warrior. And we like watching how the other solves issues (with totally different techniques too ).
And the gamer guys need to stop believeing that they're never going to find someone (Well.. if you don't LOOK for a person, you can't find them)
And like you said, Instead of treating them like "noobs"/etc. Or making childish/gamergate type comments, and start offering advice "You keep doing YYYYY and that usually causes you to get killed. Try doing ZZZZZZ instead. It might help you keep from dying as quickly."