N473's Journal: Happy happy joy joy

I feel liberated. Happy and free. I don't know why I let my self sink so low. I don't know why I felt I had to care so much or so long for someone who didn't return it?

I was told today by her that she had a new boyfriend. I guess she wanted me to go nuts and cry. But when I looked inside I saw that not only did I not care she was with someone else, I was happy for her. I told her this and she told me she hated me.

Wow. But again I didn't care. Not in a negative way either.

I told her (well here is the transcript):

Her (6:01:26 PM): fuck you very mucho
Her (6:01:28 PM): bye
Me (6:01:40 PM): why the hostility?
Her (6:01:54 PM): cause i hate you
Her (6:01:56 PM): bye
Me (6:02:26 PM): I will always love you, I just want you to be happy. I honestly hope you will be
Me (6:02:42 PM): I am very sorry we didn't work out
Me (6:02:59 PM): Hate me if you want but know it doesn't go both ways
Me (6:03:02 PM): bye

I am going to see Priscilla tonight. But this is not why I am happy. I am having trouble explaining this. I feel such an immense weight lifted off of me. It feels so good to be done with it. I am happy being me for the first time pretty much ever. My friends have been so great. I am looking forward to doing things right. I just want to have fun and not worry. Not be jealous. Not be crazy. Why did I never figure this out before?

i understand

[subgeek]

I told her this and she told me she hated me.

this really did make me laugh out loud. at her. you know how they say living well is the best revenge? apparently rising above pettiness is a perfect example of living well.

Re:i understand

[N473]

LOL. It is funny because she calls me and gets pissed when I am busy. Like I am supposed to be waiting for her call or care if she gets pissed. I really want to be her friend, but she needs to let go of the jealous GF routine before that can happen.