More Details On My Hospital Visit

Journal eugene ts wong's Journal: More Details On My Hospital Visit 7

Journal by eugene ts wong on Friday August 20, 2004 @03:00AM

I'm too tired to do a journal entry like I usually do, so I'm just going to write it all in here. I'll do a minimal amount of proof reading & spel chekin. :^)

So, let's see.

Here's the previous journal entry to refresh your minds.

The illness before that, documented 2 journal entries before this, was probably just coincidental to the headache. That headache was probably a migrane as well.

In both circumstances, I was getting ready for bed early in the morning. It was around 4am, the 1st time around, & around 3:30am, the 2nd time around. In both circumstances, it basically went away after about 12 hours.

From now on, I'm going to try to avoid as much stress & possible. If I feel tension in my head, as I have in the last few days, then I'm going to stop what I'm doing, & just relax, & try not to think about work, people, relationships, etc. So far, it seems to be okay. I'll always keep the Tylenol 3's by my bedside, but for the most part, I'm going to avoid as much of it as possible. I'm going to try the over the counter stuff that you all recommended in the last journal entry.

By the way, thanks for the advice. I appreciate having an excuse to drink pop, & to pop some pills in my mouth. ;^) I usually don't drink pop [gotta to be healthy, you know :^)], or take any other caffinated beverages. I also try to avoid medicines & pills.

So, let's see where are we? Oh, yeah; the hospital. As I said in the previous journal entry, I had to get a ride to the hospital. I really wanted to wait till morning, but this time there was no mercy. My head was killing me, & these headaches were just different than they usually were. Thus I didn't want to chance it. I thought that something might be leaking in my head & causing pressure. After all, I could feel a painful pulse in my head. What else could it be? I never learnt much about migranes, & just assumed that they were painful headaches that were constant in the amount of pain.

On the way to the hospital, I never noticed so many red lights in my entire life. Usually, I try take to life @ a slow pace. So, even though I won't try to catch red lights on purpose, I'm not going to make a big stink about them. This time was different. I hate my city for red lights in the middle of the night. It's not as if we can't leave them as blinking yellows @ night. Calgary sets them as blinking reds. Anyways, I could see my mom debating in her head about running those red lights. I was crying in agony, but I didn't want to make a big stink about it. I didn't want to disobey the law. Am I crazy? I hope not.

So, we arrive @ the hospital. I'll never forget this. My head is ready to explode. I run in. I stare @ the signs & try to figure out what to do. I'm supposed to report to the triage nurse.

The triage nurse calmly asks, "What's the matter?" [or some such thing].

I say, "Blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah!" [okay, not literally, but I explain my situation very frantically; I'm leaning forward; I'm moving my hands all over]

"Alright, would please sit over there till I'm done with her?". I could have strangled her for saying that. I'm in pain here, & she wants me to sit down.

So, I sat down. Yeah, I felt like I was going to die, but I hate it when people cut in line. :^) It's true. In hind sight, it's just as well, as far as I can tell. I suspect that they wouldn't have been able to do anything about it anyways. I would have appreciated some cool drugs, though. Ever since I had these headaches, I've been so much more open to drugs & pills. Go figure. :^)

So, I'm sitting there, & just moving my all over in agony. I dig my fingers into the arm rests. I hold my head with my arms. I do just about anything to pass time & avoid the pain. I must have looked pretty stupid. The thing that annoyed me in all of this was the fact that woman speaking to the triage nurse didn't seem to be in pain or in desperate need. It really bothered me that they couldn't drop what they were doing for less than a minute just to alleviate my pain. It bothers me so much that I try to go through life giving up of myself just to help others, & here they were discussing non-emergency stuff. @ least it appeared to be non-emergency stuff.

Eventually, she gets to me & starts asking stereotypical questions [where? when? how long? etc.], took my temperature, etc. That's all fine. I'm in extreme pain, but whatever. She checks @ the back, & she says that I can have "that bed" as soon a lady is finished making it.

When I get there, the lady says, "Are you sleeping here?".

I say, "I don't know!", & just climb on. It makes me laugh till this day. Each time I think back, I get concerned that I might have come across as rude. I wasn't trying to be. I wanted to give her space to do her work, & I wanted to be thankful. I honestly didn't know if I would be sleeping over night. This was all just too new to me.

After that, it was more of the same [what? when? how long? temperature? ears? eyes?], plus take off clothes & get into hospital gown. I personally think that hospital gowns are lame. I still have no idea of how to put them on. They are getting better from what I can tell.

Another few more hours of pain in the hospital bed. There was only 1 doctor for the emergency ward all night long. Ouch. People cut in line because they were bleeding, & other stuff.

A nurse put me on IV, which I think was a bit much, but whatever. It didn't hurt that much. Whatever drugs they filled me with near the beginning didn't help much or @ all. 1 neat thing was a shot of morphine.

Doctor came & asked me the same questions as far as I can tell, & got them to do some kind of head scan [cat scan?] & to get some of my spinal fluid [spinal tap?].

Later on, I'm about to walk into the waiting room to get some magazines, when an attractive nurse tells me to wait, so that she can give me a shot of morphine. I didn't think much of it, other than the idea that it seems like more delays. So I sit down on the foot of my bed, & wait. She tells me that I might want to lie down & that I'll feel it right away. Eh, whatever. I sit down. She injects it into the iv. I feel a light buzz. Hmm, interesting. A smile must have appeared on my face, because she asked me if I could feel it. I say, "Yeah, I think so.". So, I sit for a while longer. There's still a headache, but I feel so furry inside. She asks me how it feels. "Very interesting.", I say. I keep thinking over & over, "This is so interesting.". Since I don't expect to feel this good ever again, I decided to skip the magazines in the waiting room. I chose instead to lie down. Wow. It felt so good @ that point in time, that I'm smiling right now as I think about. Hmm, I'm so furry inside! I kept thinking about that scene in Saving Private Ryan.

"Okay! Okay! What can we do for you?"
"You can give me a shot of morphine..."

I can't blame him. If it weren't illegal, & I had the money, I'd shoot up every day, during work. Morphine makes hospital visits fun!

So, eventually I got the head scan & the spinal thing. Actually, the head scan probably might have come before the morphine, but whatever.

The head scan wasn't all that serious. They just stick your head in a tube thingy & tell you not to look @ the light & to not move. The light was only @ the beginning & not during the actual scan.

The spinal thingy was freaking me out. I wasn't making a big stink about it, but I was really wondering how painful this would be. This was being done by a different doctor than the 1 who ordered the procedure. It turns out that if they didn't tell me what was happening, then I wouldn't have had the foggiest idea until I found the bandage on my back. Basically, they used a small needle about 1-2 millimeters long, & numbed my back on 2 close spots. You could barely feel it. It was like an itch. When they stuck the tool in my spine, I wasn't even aware of it. I could feel someone pushing in the general area, but nothing sharp. It was amazing. They took 4 samples. Each of them were very clear liquids. They were very clear even for a healthy person.

It took the doctor almost an hour to get back to me to give me a dianosis, or in this case to say that nothing was wrong.

After that, it was basically waiting to get the iv removed, bus home, feel motion sickness on the bus, buy perscription pain killers, bus home, feel motion sickness, walk home, surprise parents [they were expecting me to call for a ride; it didn't quite occur to me; I really should have called to give them an update, though], get ready for bed [because I felt so sick for some reason], go to bed.

Since then, I've been trying to get my sleep schedule back in order. Staying in the hospital bed was difficult because I was half asleep & half awake from the brain pain. For Saturday night, I just stayed in bed all night long. I slept in till Sunday, & missed church. I missed guitar lesson on Tuesday for feeling sick. This whole week can be summarized as sleep, work 4-8 hours per day, eat, & sleep. Last night, I sleep for about 14 hours [with a short bathroom break] & I still feel sick & tired.

I'm off to see the doctor tomorrow. I'm wondering if I have got too much stress. I honestly find myself feeling very, very emotionally depressed. I feel like I've got a dead end job. I feel like I'll never accomplish anything. I feel like I'm never going to have any meaningful relationships. It's all so sad. Every person in my generation has not had any meaningful relationship, or has had relationships that are so out of God's will, that even all of you would disapprove. How sad.

On a very unrelated note, I managed to chat up the nurses a bit. It's interesting how people are willing to share when they can relate to you or they think that you can relate to them. It's hard not to listen into their conversations when you're stuck in bed, & they're talking right @ the foot of your bed. They stopped talking, & they looked @ me, & I chuckled because I was caught red handed listening in. I can't hear very well, but 2 things clued me into the idea that nurse #1 was complaining about management: nurse #1's facial expressions; nurse #2's comment, "Be a duck. Be a duck. You have to pick your battles.". Knowing when to pick battles applies to dealing with customers, patients, management, & everybody else in this world, but I suspected that it was about management because nurse #1 appeared mature enough that she wouldn't be complaining about patients. I believe that it takes a different type of maturity to deal with customers & patients than it does managers. Managers are a whole different type of pain in the neck. :^)

Disclaimer: my memory is foggy; the following discussion is only "relatively correct". :^)

Since nurse #2 was the only 1 looking @ me, I said to her, something like, "Management problems?".
Nurse #2"Yep."; by now, nurse #1 was looking @ me too; so, I had to think fast.
Me: "Yeah, I know managers can be a real pain.".
Nurse #1: "You had management problems? Where?"
Me: "Well, I worked @ Grand & Toy, a shoe store, stocking shelves @ a grocery store.". I began to tell them my story. I don't recall them giving any private details, which I appreciate, because it's not fair to the other person, & it's not something that I'm involved in.

However, I got to talking with nurse #1 about her preferred career & how this was something that she did just because she needed to. She told me where she came from, what he husband does for work. She even told me that she was planning on quitting in about 6 months. I thought that that was amazing that she would share that kind of information. I shared with her a bit about myself, etc. It was very refreshing that we could talk eye to eye about things. No advice was given, as far as I can recall. It was more of a "You? Me too!!!" type of conversation.

I have mentioned several times the idea of a rhythm in the conversation. Experts tell us to be ourselves as if that is all. They are probably too skilled to realize that there is much more that goes into a good relationship & good conversation. The conversation between me & the nurses would never have happened if I hadn't shared something that they believed to be similar. In this case, the similar things were stupid middle management looking over our shoulders & complaining about us. Nurse #1 & I happen to believe that it's best to give people room to make mistakes. I'll go so far as to say that in a perfect world, you're still not getting all that you want. You're still not get getting your cake & eating it too. She obviously liked that because she chatted with me, when she should have been working.

As for those of you who are skilled in dealing with people, well, I'm sad to make you read the last bit. You could have saved time by not reading it, but my head hurts, & I'm too lazy to go back & warn you. Besides, going back & changing a journal entry would be like changing the journal continuum. I can't explain it but has some thing to do with killing old people when they're young, & not being born, or some such thing.

I hope you enjoyed this. I'm going quit while my head isn't hurt @ full blast.

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Think about pretty nurse. Think about morphine. Think happy thoughts.

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