phiz187's Journal: I write to you, that you may never read my thoughts

Browsing through old livejournals. Not trying to catch that feeling you put in my heart, but picking at it like a scab. You hurt me so good, Liz. I close my eyes, and my endorphins embrace me in a golden electric dream. I'm sorry I neglected you today. Don't take it to heart... You had your time, too hot, in the sun, with your dirty rasta friends. I didn't pry, it's a symptom of the trust-bond we enjoy. How could it not warm someone's heart:

thank you for showing me exactly what to stay away from, i know now that i will see your face again lurking in the guises of other men wherever i go and i will run screaming to the man who makes me want to take off my shoes, to dance, and to be as complicated as possible

I'm listening to "Dirty Vegas," "Days Go By."

The video drives home the point the song is about losing a girl, which I've done. It's a part of me, but it doesn't define, me. I'm not going to turn my back on that part of my life. You're part of my fiber

I planned to lay dormant, and use my people skills to resurrect what I once had. Building a new group of friends after a female betrayed me, it's not new territory. I build them, they fuck my friends. I can't explain it, but ... I delude myself.. I know why. I do build them up, but I take as much as they do. Fuck this human condition. Don't turn your back on me, when you knew the score the whole time. Yes, it hurt, but you had an amazing learning experience. It may have sucked, but would you trade you time with me? What for? For anything? I think more of you than you can imagine, we'll meet someday and be strangers again, I look forward to it, like alzheimers.