bersl2's Journal: College. w00! (was: Getting into college sucks. pt 3) et al.

I have been withholding talking about this, because it's really not extrordinary, but I'm leaving tomorrow for college.

This is going to be quite refreshing, not being micromanaged by parents.

In case I didn't say it in my last gripe about the admissions process, I am going to Georgia Tech. Contrary to prior personal prejudice, both GT and Atlanta are going to be wonderful; getting into college sucks, but going to college doesn't. Tech is the right place for me; I'm going to learn actual real CS. Also, there are more things there than in New Orleans that are catered to my interests and tastes---well, food notwithstanding. /What's the Good Word, biatch?

On a more somber note, let us honor my fallen pet cat, Prissy, likely to cancer---but then again that's what my parents always claim is the problem with nearly every morbid pet. She was emaciated at the end, and she ran off---this is so much easier on the human psyche (or at least mine) than the alternative, which I do not care to mention, seeing as it's more like an execution.

Of course, I did not see, I could not see, and/or I did not want to see her constitution as a sign of anything. I instantly thought of how, in my opinion, we treated her as a second-class citizen. As a young cat, she was thrown against the ceiling by my father because she tried to sleep in his bed, and she was denied the proper opportunity to become housetrained, because her litterbox was placed next to the washing machine, which I am certain she could not stand. I naively believed that she ran off due to lack of attention, which was further reinforced when nobody seemed to give a fuck whe she went missing; I mean, if my parents were serious about finding her, they would at least look for her at the animal shelter, right? I wanted to voice this sentiment, but I was unable to, because... I can't. I'm avoidant. So I felt mighty guilty, both at not being able to convey my sentiments, and at treating her indifferently in the first place.

(I appologize for the sudden and prolonged transition from excitement and enthusiasm to mush and illogic.)

After these feelings started building in intensity daily, one night my cat appeared in my dreams, seeking vengance. Needless to say, I was scared. Having begged for forgiveness much of the next day, she appeared in my dreams on the next night, pardoning me for anything I had done or not done to her. I was relieved, but I still could not forgive myself. So when what was blind to me was revealed tonight, I am at last somewhat at peace with this. Still, it's a pretty shitty end to the first part of my life...

Meh.

OK, all that said, I think I should start up a freakin' friends-and-family deathpool. I got $50 on my grandmother, and $10 on the goldfish my mother's friend gave her for a pond in the garden.