Real Troll Talk's Journal: Real Troll Talk Featuring Craig McPherson

Real Troll Talk - Issue #5

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[Us] (9:50:56 PM): This is Real Troll Talk here tonight after our very popular last interview feature in which the author of the infamous Rustina.jpg image spilled all and presented a world's-first viewing of the newest Rustina image.
We are very pleased to have Craig McPherson with us tonight.
How are you doing, Craig?
Craig (9:52:21 PM): I'm vary happy to be here tonight, sir. A lot of people have probably heard a lot of gossip and hearsay about me, and I've decided at last that I'd better answer some of these allegations.
Craig (9:54:32 PM): I'd first like to direct your attention and that of the readership to a statement that I wrote earlier this morning, outlining the truth about several hot-button issues. Due to the length of it, I've posted it to a Slashdot journal, which I'd encourage you to peruse at your leisure. http://slashdot.org/~CraigMcPherson/journal/77429
[Us] (9:55:33 PM): We will examine it now very briefly...
[Us] (9:56:21 PM): OK, so the gist of that is basically that you have been accused of many things you did not do.
[Us] (9:56:40 PM): Why do you feel that is so? Are there specific people out there who dislike you, and if so, why?
-- Interruption due to unforeseen circumstances --
Craig (11:24:34 PM): I was one of the first members of the first organized Slashdot trolling community (even before it officially set up base on the original sid=trolltalk). As the community grew and blossomed, schisms occured. A sizable of the community still live on as the Adequacy clan. They absolutely hate the "traitors" like Mr. OSM and myself (and a few others who I won't mention because they haven't yet been subjected to the organized attacks that we have). We don't really care about them and their little games, but they just don't know how to leave alone anyone that they consider an enemy.
[Us] (11:25:26 PM): So you consider yourself a troll, but not one of the regular trolls?
Craig (11:26:57 PM): I've been in and out of retirement for the past several years, and I mostly hit nontraditional targets that aren't tainted by the Slashdot scene and the associated baggage.
[Us] (11:27:58 PM): Can you disclose one or two of these targets to our readers?
Craig (11:29:36 PM): Well, obviously if I did that, they'd no longer be untainted. I'm always anonymous or under various pseduonyms these days; using my real name in the early days was a mistake.
Craig (11:36:27 PM): But I was a young and idealistic trollerizer then. All the factions & politics & nonsense were fun at first, but after a while they start to occlude the actual trolling.
[Us] (11:36:51 PM): Describe some of your more famous trolls.
Craig (11:37:12 PM): First, on an unrelated note, I'd like to state for the record my sincere belief that Rusty Foster is some kind of homo or something.
[Us] (11:39:00 PM): It's been noted. Continue on please.
Craig (11:41:02 PM): Second, by the advice of my lawyer, I'm limited on the things that I can and can't take credit for, so I'll limit myself to the older and more publically-known stuff. Obviously, my initial claim to fame was "naked and petrified", my little brainchild that so many others help to raise & nurture. It held #1 fad status on Slashdot for a while, and many fans kept it alive over the years even after I moved on to other things. For our younger readers, a compendium of random old "naked and petrified" posts is archived here: http://users.ipa.net/~cmcpher/method.txt
Craig (11:41:38 PM): The best part were the responses, most notably the diatrabe issues by Nitrozac of the shitty "Geek Culture" website, author of the shitty "After Y2K" comic.
Craig (11:43:29 PM): Handy reference: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=3538&cid=1356689
[Us] (11:44:04 PM): Interesting. Any non-petrified trolling?
[Us] (11:44:27 PM): Tell us what types of sites you troll these days and what kind of content you post.
Craig (11:45:26 PM): Several of the Adequists (before they turned evil) & I infiltrated Nitrozac's forum (as revenge for the above-linked post) by pretending to be females and absolutely fooled the hell out of them.
Craig (11:46:13 PM): Give me a minute or two to think.
[Us] (11:50:33 PM): OK, time's up, we don't have all night.
Craig (11:50:47 PM): I've been in several Usenet groups over the years and several message boards for various hobbies & interests. Sometimes I use Babelfish-mangled text to do the confused foreigner thing. Sometimes I just question the basic assumptions of the hobby or interest at hand. Sometimes I find an existing ongoing campaign of trolling or kookery that impresses me & I'll join in and reinforce whatever's being done there. And sometimes I just post shit that doesn't make a lot of sense.
[Us] (11:52:31 PM): When do you troll? From where do you troll? What makes you troll?
Craig (11:55:39 PM): Now that I think about it, "Tattoo the DeCSS Source on Natalie Portman's Ass" was another that wasn't petrification-related, and was one of the ones that got a lot of good replies when I was targetting Everything2 and posting a lot of my works there.
Craig (11:55:44 PM): As for reasons for trolling, I've written up a lot of bullshit on the philosophy of trolling, but on the most basic level, it's much more simple than that: playing games with the truth is fun. Confusing, angering, or otherwise manipulating people is fun. Lying is fun. Laughing at people is fun. In the end, it all comes down to personal amusement. Claim to have a higher purpose if you will, but you'd better be enjoying yourself or else you're missing the point.
Craig (11:56:26 PM): And breaking society's rules, its expectations, and its social conventions is fun. So much so.
Craig (11:59:55 PM): Also, I like feeling superior to others.
[Us] (12:02:32 AM): Can you reveal a ballpark figure for your age and location?
Craig (12:05:48 AM): I'll just say that I was still a teenager when I first cast a write-in vote for "Lacey Chabert naked & petrified" in a Segfault.org poll, my first historic foray into the heart of darkness. I was just past my teenage years in the days of sid=Trolltalk, circa 2000 or so.
[Us] (12:06:46 AM): You seem to be a very mature writer, yet you take long to respond. Are you simply a slow typer, or do you carefully examine every word to ensure your point gets across appropriately?
Craig (12:09:29 AM): As for location, I'm in the same apartment right now that I was in on the fateful day over 5 years ago when I first clicked a Slashdot bookmark (it came with Debian Linux, which I'd just installed) not knowing what it was.
Craig (12:09:31 AM): I spend much more time thinking than typing. Thinking is one of my greatest loves, somewhere between trolling and masturbation (of course, those three pastimes are not mutually exclusive).
Craig (12:15:41 AM): I'm sorry; my Internet connection died. You'll have to repeat anything you said since my last message.
[Us] (12:16:52 AM): Where do you see yourself in five years?
Craig (12:20:23 AM): At this exact moment five years in the future? I will probably be either in this same apartment or another not entirely unlike it (I'm pondering moving to the Memphis area for personal reasons). There's approximately a 12% chance I'll be masturbating. Unless I'm working nights, if I'm not masturbating I'll probably be bumming around the Internet, or sleeping.
[Us] (12:21:13 AM): Sounds about right. Thanks for your time. Perhaps we can talk again sometime.
Craig (12:21:34 AM): If you wish.