Journal mystereys's Journal: Oh Mother... 2
I just want to say, sometimes I really don't like my mother.
You see, I got married a year ago, to a guy I love and whom she doesn't. When I told her we were getting married, she started crying. And not in the good way. She then proceeded to say things like, "you're going to ruin your life" "he's going to just mooch off you" etc.
Since then, she has never tried to like him. Indeed, she puts him down every chance she gets. Like just now, she called me up, and she asked how he was doing. I mentioned he had a cold, and she said something about how "weak" my husband is, as if it's his fault he caught a cold. She also refuses to tell anyone she runs into (former teachers, parents of friends from grammar school, etc) that I am married. She has actually told me before that if I run into any of her friends while I am visiting her, I am not to tell them I'm married.
She thinks if she constantly puts the guy down in front of me, and ignores the whole issue, the marriage will get annulled or dissappear somehow and that then she can set me up with a guy she likes.
Mother - daughter relationships are complex, intense and frightening. And incredibly sad. *sigh* Right now, I wish I had a penis.
I want to go home and cry.
Possibilities (Score:2)
What is the probability of a confrontation with your mother about this ending positively? Can you envision a positive resolution even if it's not very likely?
On the other end of the spectrum, what about penalizing your mother for her actions? Cutting off communication with her over x days for making statements like that. This is a very hard thing to do - spell out consequences to a parent - but might lead to results.
Of course, all of this is with very little understanding of
Re:Possibilities (Score:1)
The problem is that she doesn't understand what she's doing wrong.
The way I figure, she'll start to get over it once my husband finishes up his masters this year and gets a job. And once I'm back in school to get my graduate degree. Or, we find our way into a big pile of money and we buy her lots of haute couture clothes and accessories and a Porche.
(I'm only half-jo