TrollingForHostFiles's Journal: System.out.println("Hello, World!");

So who's this TrollingForHostFiles cat, anyhow? Is he really a sock-puppet?

In real life, I'm a Slashdotter who signed up for an account not long after the site changed its name from "Chips & Dips". I have many Fans, a few Freaks, excellent Karma, and a UID that's sufficiently low that I've actually been offered money for it, no kidding. (Insert quip about dollars and sense here.)

I also have a stalker, who--for reasons that are probably only going to be understood by another flaming nutjob such as he--has taken it upon himself starting about 3 weeks ago to follow me around, responding with his garbage to every post I make.

I should explain that, no, I'm not especially thin-skinned. I can take a joke. I can even take getting trolled every once in awhile--I've actually friended a few folks who've trolled me in a particularly funny/clever fashion. But this character did more than that--he crossed the line from trolling to stalking me, attempting to make the site unusable for me, and trying to spread all manner of lies and nonsense about me. The fact that he's also targeting some of my friends does not make this sit any better with me.

Recently, I spent about 20 minutes on Google tracking him down. Turned out I didn't even need the IP addresses he so thoughtfully left behind on Wikipedia to do so. After this, I warned him that if he didn't back off, I would offer proof that he should really be done with fucking with me. He didn't so I did. I should point out that in posting his home address and phone number for all to see, I wasn't actually revealing anything that he'd not foolishly done so himself already on the public Intarwebs. He was even stupid enough to confirm that info for us himself. And yet still he persists--okay, I'm now convinced that he's crazy.

At that point, some folks might consider showing up at his doorstep with a baseball bat. Well... I've got airfare money, a valid US passport, and Louisville Sluggers are cheap and plentiful, so there's no reason that I couldn't... but, naahhhhhh, I just sent him a little something in the mail instead.

Maybe he'll change his tune when he gets it and sees that I'm not some figment of his twisted imagination, after all.

In the meantime... aw, fuck it. Let's have some fun.

So... just to make you happy, Wacko Stalker Dewd... here's my long-awaited sockpuppet account. Enjoy!

Since this is a sockpuppet, nothing about this account is particularly novel or original, other than that I've never created a second Slashdot account before. Don't look for a lot of insight or what have you. The name is tribute both to my stalker and to my long-lost friend Trolling4Dollars. The Burma Shave bit is a tribute to a Slashdotter whom I've always regarded as one of my best friends on this site, in spite of the fact his political and social views and mine are almost diametrically opposed. (I told you I'd become inspired!)

Hey, whaddaya know... Now that I think of it, we're also marking another first here today--in all of my 10,000 years on Slashdot, I've never posted a JE before.

And yes, comments are enabled. Feel free to bid me welcome. Or whatever.