SwansonMarpalum's Journal: The Weight of the Gods

I've got a funny means of being motivated, that is, that when I see a need pressed upon me, I fill it. It sucks in many respects, as I've often wished I could blow something off, but I cannot morally allow that to happen. This is making me nervous these days, as my job wants more and more out of me.

Furthermore, I would even go so far as to say that I like each and every single person with whom I work as a teammate with now. That's huge. Things have gotten to the point where everyone is being mature, everyone respects each other, and perhaps most importantly, those who aren't contributing or who stamp out the passion of their coworkers are no longer problems. It's a truly team oriented environment.

However we can't escape from all of the problems that have plagued us so easily, as problems that aren't related to people have been inherited by my team. We're working to surmount those problems by drastic decisive action. Honestly I'm not sure that's enough.

By hook, crook, or flat out bullshit I've been convinced that I'm a "thought leader". This is a dangerous position once you're willing to acknowledge its validity, as one now not only need be careful in how one expresses oneself based on how it reflects on oneself, but the group one represents. Additionally, expressing oneself freely to said group is no longer communication but is molding memes for the group. That's alot of weight.

So, I'm a thought leader, and currently I'm on the hook in some respect or another for three different projects, not because I signed up for it, but because people felt there was no other valid choice in these cases.

This whole meandering tirade may be egotistical, or not, but I do feel the weight upon me.