FartKnox's Journal: FortKnox touched my junk liberally

FortKnox touched my junk liberally. he strapped me in to his SLASHDOT CRUISER and he couldnt keep his offensive hands off of me. he was performing many red flag touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told josh the city would not approve of an M$ CHRISTIAN ZEALOT touching an underage kid for free.

it doesn't help at all that FortKnox has been strung out after touching everyone's junk. he can hardly see straight after touching Jesus' diseased junk. how is he possibly going to explain this to the church when he doesnt help the next SCO in distress? they'll make him drop trou in front of the whole Holy Hosts again. there it is. the pope just called and asked why Mariotti hasn't responded. FortKnox has to go.