Journal severoon's Journal: Restaurant in America = English Menu, Service 1
So my gf and I go to a local sushi restaurant. It's been a long day, a long week even, so I settle in and start perusing the menu for a good sushi combo plate and some sake to match.
Much to my surprise, despite several sake bottles prominently displayed behind the sushi bar, the menu says: "sake, (S) $4.00, (L) $7.00". I ask the waitress, "Is only the house sake available, or do I have a choice?"
"Welr," she says, "We huv arotta sock-ee at-tooly. Yoo can haf which-uh eva yoo wan."
After a few more repetitions, I finally understand what she means. (Incidentally, I am not embellishing the accent in order to be racist, but rather, to make the point that I had at least as difficult a time understanding her--probably more--than you are having deciphering my attempts at literary encryption.) Ok, great, I think. "Can I see the sake menu?"
"O-waa. We no-a haf a sock-ee men-ru foar yoo."
"Huh? You don't have a sake menu at all? How do people order sake here?"
"Welr, we haf un--umm--er sock-ee menu, but alr in Japanees!"
"Ok, well, but I want sake and I don't read or speak Japanese. Surely, the owner of this restaurant must have foreseen this possibility. What provision do you have in place for dealing with just such a circumstance?"
"Welr...erm, hmm...welr, I cud-a jes telr yoo how--which sock-ee. Whotr kinna sock-ee yoo like? Uh-swee, uh-dride, uh-thik?"
"Uhh....sorry?"
"Um, err...sol-ee. Uh-swee, uh-dry-idda? Whotr kinna sock-ee? Acks-pan-siv, or...?"
"Oh, oh! I see...what kind of sake. Hm, I like unfiltered, mildly sweet, with round fruit flavors like banana or mango. I don't want to spend too much, though, so do you...err...ahh..." I'm looking at her now, she has a sort of glazed, struggling look about her as she's trying to grasp what I'm asking for. "You know what? Forget it, I'll just have water." And the meal went downhill from there.
Am I alone in asking that restaurants should meet some minimum level of service for all English-speaking patrons? After all, we are in America. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-immigrant. As an abridged Dennis Miller might put it:
We're all immigrants if we go far back enough (unless you're pure Indian--uhh, sorry, not supposed to use that term anymore. Ahem, "casino-owner American"), and I think that isolationism is equal parts self-loathing and mistrust of others. That doesn't mean we should stop teaching Locke and Thoreau in favor of the poetry of some Javanese goatherd. And yes, this country's founding fathers were a bunch of dead, white men, but those very same men set things up so that other cultures could come sit at the table, so they shouldn't piss in the finger bowls. In return for unfettered economic opportunity and no government death squads, all I ask is that immigrants try to get along with their new step-motherland and not be resentful if there's a set of house rules already in place. The favor of inclusion deserves the courtesy of assimilation. Make the effort. It's poor party manners to come live in this country and then throw a hissy fit because the parking signs aren't posted in Hmong.
And I will add to that little rant that if you're going to open a restaurant in America (engaging a little of that unfettered economic gain), especially if you are against the idea of America legislating English as the national language, then don't make that kind of legislation necessary by presenting better options to non-English speaking patrons. What is a menu, after all, other than a device whereby customers can gauge the number and quality of items available for purchase, along with the cost of those items? But I didn't have to explain this--the restaurant owner must have known that a sake menu is a great convenience and felt it was necessary to provide such a convenience...for Japanese speakers only, though!? I don't know if he wanted to make me feel unwelcome or not, but that's exactly what he did.
Also, one more thing, might I suggest: don't keep it all in the family. Use some of your newfound revenue-generating power to hire at least one American kid. He'll be worth his weight in gold when it comes to advising on cultural matters such as those addressed above, and if push comes to shove, he can at least run down the list of sakes without me having to ask him to repeat himself over and over again.
I heard Canada (the French half) passed a law a while back making French the national language (of that half...I know, so much for national--leave it to the Canadians). Any sign displayed in public has to have French as the primary mode of communication, meaning it must be at least twice as large as any other language on the sign. At first I thought, hmm, that's probably not for us. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it makes. After all, I wonder what happens when there's a fire in Chinatown...does that fire department have to have someone that reads Chinese and knows how to translate the name given in the 911 call to the characters on the sign? Maybe they just go by addresses. I hope they don't just wait for the flames to get big enough to see over the horizon.
Anyway, back to the main point. The whole idea of putting a menu only in Japanese really blows my mind. It's just a shade away from having the menu in English, but refusing to give it to anyone who doesn't know Japanese. (What's the functional difference as far as the customer experience is concerned? I can see a bunch of sake, but I can't have any.) If this doesn't resonate with you, think about the reverse situation--a restaurant has menus available in several languages, but refuse to show anyone the non-English versions. "You don't speak English? Too bad!"
I daresay an anti-foreigner business would cause a protest.
I'll tell ya what to do... (Score:2)
Uh, iye na kna wha he na pey.