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Journal StefanJ's Journal: Stuff I want to find in my Amazon Gold Box

I don't know why I bother clicking on my Amazon Gold Box. I find its wiggling and shaking obnoxious, and I can't remember finding anything I'd ever order in the specials list.

(On a few occasions, I've peeked at the description of an item, more out of morbid curiosity than anything else. I think Amazon mistakes these peeks as interest, and thus skews my selection.)

Here are things that I would be pleasantly surprised to find in my Amazon Gold Box:

  • Nanobots that would restore my bulging L-5 spinal disk to proper shape.
  • A 1988 Honda Civic DX hatchback with A/C and prototype airbags. No miles. Mint in the box.
  • A litter of sapient GMO coyote pups I can mold into the first minions of my Army of Darkness.
  • A George Foreman Grill actually big enough to grill George Foreman.
  • A case of Reggie Bars.
  • A new copy of Tom Weller's Science Made Stupid.
  • A little plastic plug exactly designed to fit into the overflow drain in my bathtub, so I can efficiently employ my plumber's helper and finally uproot whatever is plugging up the drain.


"What people have been reduced to are mere 3-D representations of their own data." -- Arthur Miller