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mcgrew's Journal: The Eyedropper On Board

Journal by mcgrew

I'd been with Desire for a month and a half now. We were talking over coffee before I had to go to work.
                Yeah, my job is work. I have to go to the pilot room and make sure we weren't going the wrong way, then I have to inspect the whole ship, and I have a pretty big boat. You think the people part is big? It's tiny. Yeah, the cabins are like apartments but storage and machinery takes up ninety percent of boats.
                And I had to inspect all of it except the passenger quarters, and I only had one passenger. Twice a day. It's a lot of walking, believe me. Even though we only have three quarters gravity; we get the gravity from acceleration. When we get more than halfway there the boat will turn around and we'll have Mars gravity until we get there.
                Anyway, I asked her if she was really going to be a hooker. She giggled. "You're not going to turn me in to the company, are you?"
                Shit. "Uh, what? I mean, turn you in for what?"
                "You'll keep it a secret? If you can't we're done."
                Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit.
                "Yeah." Sweat was running down my cheek.
                "Ok, John, I have no intention of becoming a hooker. I just signed up because it was the cheapest way to get to Mars."
                "But your contract..."
                "Cheaper to break than buying passage. I have a pretty good lawyer, John. She teaches me stuff."
                "Well, OK" I said. "As long as nobody knows, I don't know. Kinda wish you hadn't told me."
                "I don't want to keep secrets from you, John. I think I'm in love."
                "Lets get married!"
                "Lets take it a little slower, OK, John?"
                "I guess," I said. "Better go to work."
                "See you, lover," she said, kissing me. God but I liked this woman.
                The pilot room was close to the Captain's quarters, of course. Hah! Captain! My crew were a bunch of robots and other machines, I only had one passenger and my cargo was whores.
                Shit.
                While I was walking through the boat I heard cats. What the hell? There weren't supposed to be any cats in my boat, but it sounded like two of them were in here fighting. I ran toward the sound, which was coming from the Commons.
                It wasn't cats. It was Lek and Lek, two whores from Thailand. Lek could talk English OK but Lek only spoke pidgin Englist. Wouldn't you know it, two people from the same country with the same names. I couldn't pronounce either of their last names.
                And they were in the throes of violence. Lek punched Lek so hard she flew all the way across the room and hit a wall. It was like some of the ancient 20th century movies me and Desire like to watch. Of course, those movies were silly and the boat's at low gravity. So it looked really silly when that whore knocked the other whore across the room.
                I'd talked to Lek before, the one who spoke English pretty good. It seems that in Thailand, prostitutes are revered for their service to humanity. I'm sure all those horny guys on Mars will agree wholeheartedly.
                I think she's full of shit.
                "OK," I said, "What the hell is this all about?"
                "I don't know," said the semi-fluent one. "She just attacked me!"
                "You drops! Me ow!" the other one said.
                "She thinks I have drops and she wants some. I guess she ran out."
                Uh, Oh. "There are drops on my boat?"
                "You stupid? Chai. O'course, Everybody got 'em."
                "You?"
                She laughed. "Come find 'em," she said with that twinkle in her eye that, well, I saw in most of them when they boarded.
                I gave the less fluent Lek an hour of confinement. Kids, you gotta ground 'em sometimes. I didn't have a clue what to do about the drops. I should have went to college.
                I went and inspected the engines... shit, I had no idea how they worked but I was supposed to inspect them? OK, just follow the checklist on my tablet and I don't have to have a clue.
                        A robot was working on one, and I noted it. Standard procedure. Even though there's always a robot working on one, seems like.
                I was still chuckling about the Thai chick flying across the room in the boat's reduced gravity. We could do one G but the bean counters say it would cost too much, so I fly 'em like they tell me to. Times like that I'm glad gravity is reduced, that was hilarious!
                See, they tell me the gravity is from propulsion, we're always burning fuel. Or acceleration or something, I ain't never went to college.
                I walked back to our quarters. I opened the door -- and saw her with an eyedropper.
                SHIT!!!

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The Eyedropper On Board

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