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Journal The Turd Report's Journal: The Turd Report 01/28/2002 6

I had a cheese steak and a couple of beers from Dominion Brew Pub yesterday. Today for lunch, I had pork and mushrooms. The pork caused explosive diareah. It was pretty rank. I felt the rumblings at my desk. I made my way to the bathroom as quickly as I could. I could not take full strides, cause I was afraid I would shit myself right there. I get to the bathroom and the cleaning lady is in there! Fuck! I waddle down to the next bathroom and barely make it. I sit down and liquid shoots from my butt. It made a gnarly splashing sound as it impacted the back of the toilet. It felt good. I had a lot of gas and it was very rank, it smelled like sulfur. Someone walked in the the bathroom adn walked right back out. The turd soup was yellow-ish in color and naturally had no form. Clean up was kind of a mess but not as bad as you would think. I rate this as a 5. (It gets points subtracted for lack of form, but gains some back due to overall experience and smell)

I will not be posting tommorrow. I am undergoing surgery for my kidney disorder. If I go to 'The Big Toilet in the Sky' as it were, I have left instructions to leave my username and password for this account somewhere on the net to be found. Take care and if I bite it, good luck with the Turd Report account! --

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The Turd Report 01/28/2002

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