JediJeeper's Journal: Hey, ACLU, I'm a goat and I'm not going to take it anymore!

To Whom it may concern at the ACLU,

Dear madam, or sir, I am writing in hopes that you may be able to help me in my important cause. You see I am a goat, more pointedly, an American goat, and I believe I am being oppressed. My civil liberties are constantly being violated by those who would have you believe goats are a lesser class of American citizen.

I have long observed the issues of great import that you have tackled in our society, the grand injustices subjected upon people who are unable to stand for themselves. I firmly believe my cause to be one you can sink your teeth into.

When I became aware that you had taken it upon yourselves to battle the complete injustice which has been visited upon certain southern courthourse visitors, I knew right away that you were the guys in the corner for me.

I mean, who, after all, could be so astute as to realize a lump of stone, strategicly placed, could thwart the efforts to the justice system so effectively. I, being a goat, am not sure how such a postioned rock can impede the flow of truth so, but I leave the specifics to you who know so much better. The masses who have been subjected to this insult clearly are being represented well, and are likely to be un-yoaked from tyranny rather soon.

My list of complaints, I feel, are of equal immensity, some of which are as follows: 1- Metal sewer grates... the slots in-between the ribs are far too large for my tiny hooves to span, I am constantly getting a hoof stuck when I wander at large through the city streets. Rally, please, to have the grates all removed and replaced by solid steel or wood covers. 2- Public drinking fountains... there is no way for me to activate the handle while maintaining a good drinking position, oft times I must revert to lapping fetid water from puddles in the gutter, this is disgusting and demeaning. I need a foot pedal to start the flow of water. 3- Traffic lights... I simply can not see them, they are too high. I have been hit by passing vehicles about three out of five times that I choose to risk my life and cross the street. Please have these signal lights lowered to my eye level so I can judge the proper time to race across the pavement.

There are many other institutions that are fiercly leveraged against me that I could make you aware of, but feel these details could be fleshed out further at a face to face meeting in my barnyard. I am aware that the pigs and sheep also have some issues of which they wish you to be made aware, so be prepared for a lengthy visit.

Please find attached illustrated driving instructions which lead to my humble pen. Bring your own chair I have none (another of my woes, chairs suitably designed for my comfort), I will prepare refreshments of fresh feed-pellets.

Thank you for your time in reading this and for bringing to bear the considerable weight you command.

Yours truly,
Goat