Journal Mighty-Troll's Journal: Day in the life of a Troll 1
6:00am
Alarm goes off. Still dreaming, my mind is still spinning, searching itself for brilliant material to add my troll posts.
6:42am
Hit snooze button for last time, awake again and onto my feet. First thing is to light up a smoke and check Slashdot for any change in Karma, or messages of any kind. Hate/Fan mail is checked with known associated addresses to Slashdot/k5/Usenet, etc.
8:01am
At work. Read latest stories - any latest antics by fellow trolls. There are others out there that understand the enemy and what must be done. To provoke an emotional response out of just plain text is an amazing thing to do. We are puppet masters. Manipulating the strings of the likes of Maynard, or perhaps any old "joe worker" or who has strong beliefs. I may agree with many of their idealisms, but out there it doesn't matter. Any form of a response and I have won.
9:32am
Reading several news sites. Staying in touch with current events is very important for a troll. You must know the facts so you can distort them and get them factually incorrect for use in future troll posts.
11:50am
After return of a cigarette break, many ideas have flowed. I see a few angry responses, but not enough. I go over to k5 and use up all of the 'moderate submission' posts. I find the nicest, informative posts that are gramatically correct and properly spelled with nice use of HTML tags. k5 users like these kinds of posts. I give them all the lowest possible score.
1:00pm
Lunch break. I'm sitting somewhere eating and thinking of what I can do to sir more things up. I realize with a name such as 'Mighty-Troll' most people won't bother. I know I soon have to turn my positive karma accounts on slashdot over to the dark-side. I must do this with much subtlety. The goal here is cause chaos, high noise-signal ratio. Most people just ignore anything written from a "troll". It also doesnt help when you post at -1 to begin with.
3:26pm
Usenet. This is where my roots come from. I remember trolling Fidonet and Usenet since far back as '93. I don't remember the term 'troll' then. I guess we were called 'flame-baiters' then. I need to see if I can't google some of my old beauties out there, possibly archived still. Trolling slashdot is fun, because it is more of a community type setup, but with a targeted audience. Making fun of Linux isn't always fun anymore. Usenet is where the payday is. Abusing slashdot just can't compare with reaching out to the masses on Usenet. To be a king of subtlety will surely make you a high troll on Usenet (many people still aren't expecting lame posts, fp's don't exist, and they are just worried about spam usually).
6:01pm
Back home from work. Check more messages/email and mod down intelligent posts on k5, use my karma farms to mod up anything that was modded down on slashdot from this account. I'll sometimes mod down a Score 5, Informative post to a Score 4, Troll just because I think it's funny. We all know the Meta-Moderation system is broken and worthless. Many beers are consumed during this process.
10:35pm
Typical week night and I just stay in and watch IFC or Tech TV. If it's a Friday or Saturday then thats a whole 'nother journal entry (stay tuned sometime soon for some crazy antics of a troll on the weekend. We're the worst kind). Bedtime approaches soon and visions of Trolls dance around my head.
Alarm goes off. Still dreaming, my mind is still spinning, searching itself for brilliant material to add my troll posts.
6:42am
Hit snooze button for last time, awake again and onto my feet. First thing is to light up a smoke and check Slashdot for any change in Karma, or messages of any kind. Hate/Fan mail is checked with known associated addresses to Slashdot/k5/Usenet, etc.
8:01am
At work. Read latest stories - any latest antics by fellow trolls. There are others out there that understand the enemy and what must be done. To provoke an emotional response out of just plain text is an amazing thing to do. We are puppet masters. Manipulating the strings of the likes of Maynard, or perhaps any old "joe worker" or who has strong beliefs. I may agree with many of their idealisms, but out there it doesn't matter. Any form of a response and I have won.
9:32am
Reading several news sites. Staying in touch with current events is very important for a troll. You must know the facts so you can distort them and get them factually incorrect for use in future troll posts.
11:50am
After return of a cigarette break, many ideas have flowed. I see a few angry responses, but not enough. I go over to k5 and use up all of the 'moderate submission' posts. I find the nicest, informative posts that are gramatically correct and properly spelled with nice use of HTML tags. k5 users like these kinds of posts. I give them all the lowest possible score.
1:00pm
Lunch break. I'm sitting somewhere eating and thinking of what I can do to sir more things up. I realize with a name such as 'Mighty-Troll' most people won't bother. I know I soon have to turn my positive karma accounts on slashdot over to the dark-side. I must do this with much subtlety. The goal here is cause chaos, high noise-signal ratio. Most people just ignore anything written from a "troll". It also doesnt help when you post at -1 to begin with.
3:26pm
Usenet. This is where my roots come from. I remember trolling Fidonet and Usenet since far back as '93. I don't remember the term 'troll' then. I guess we were called 'flame-baiters' then. I need to see if I can't google some of my old beauties out there, possibly archived still. Trolling slashdot is fun, because it is more of a community type setup, but with a targeted audience. Making fun of Linux isn't always fun anymore. Usenet is where the payday is. Abusing slashdot just can't compare with reaching out to the masses on Usenet. To be a king of subtlety will surely make you a high troll on Usenet (many people still aren't expecting lame posts, fp's don't exist, and they are just worried about spam usually).
6:01pm
Back home from work. Check more messages/email and mod down intelligent posts on k5, use my karma farms to mod up anything that was modded down on slashdot from this account. I'll sometimes mod down a Score 5, Informative post to a Score 4, Troll just because I think it's funny. We all know the Meta-Moderation system is broken and worthless. Many beers are consumed during this process.
10:35pm
Typical week night and I just stay in and watch IFC or Tech TV. If it's a Friday or Saturday then thats a whole 'nother journal entry (stay tuned sometime soon for some crazy antics of a troll on the weekend. We're the worst kind). Bedtime approaches soon and visions of Trolls dance around my head.
Day in the life of a Troll More Login
Day in the life of a Troll
Slashdot Top Deals