JDWTopGuy's Journal: Barney the Dinosaur announcement!

PRESS RELEASE - FOR IMMEDIATE HUMILIATION

Barney the purple dinosaur has announced he will run for president as a democrat. While he has not yet decided on a running mate, it's being speculated that he may choose Fred Rogers. Although Mr. Rogers recently passed away, that should be no problem considering that several dead candidates have run for office recently. And he'd only be vice president.

Former impeached president Bill "Pizza Delivery" Clinton says he thinks the idea is "Sooper-dee-dooper!" We attempted to get a statement from President Bush, but he couldn't stop laughing. Vice President Dick Cheney had a heart attack (again) when we told him, and is now recovering in an undisclosed location. Howard Dean was incensed, but couldn't comment further because he needed to go pick up some dog food for his grandmother.

It is rumored that Barney Fife may run as an independent in order to cause name confusion.

-Asphyxiated Press

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