Strippers, God's Gift to ME!

Journal Chicks_Hate_Me's Journal: Strippers, God's Gift to ME! 4

Journal by Chicks_Hate_Me on Friday June 20, 2003 @10:46PM

I never realized this, but strippers are the greatest discovery for me next to computers.

Yesterday was my second time ever to strip club, and since I haven't been to a strip club in a looong time (almost one year to be exact, on my 18th birthday) I didn't know what I was missing.

What I've been missing was what it's like to be around a woman. Most of my interactions with women have been negative, as I view them as a threat. The great thing about strippers is that they're there for one thing and one thing only...to pleasure you. Sure they have incentive ($$$) but what I've seen from most non-strippers is that they are no different. I don't have to deal with any of the bullshit that would be provided by most girlfriends, they're just there to get you a stiffy, and you get the opportunity to feel what a women feels like. Honestly, I've never touched a woman until I touched a stripper, and I've never seen a girl nude until I've seen a stripper, well, strip.

And how was the touching? Wonderful! I've never felt skin as smooth as hers, her back, her thighs, her ass, her tits...amazing! It was so awesome! I still have the smell of her surrounding me the day after. My friend tells me, don't fall in love with strippers, too late. I'm not in love, but I'm sure as hell infatuated with this stripper.

So who is she? Well, her name is Alaina (I believe) and she dances at Roaring 20's in San Francisco. I found this place when I went on my first stripper exposition when I turned 18. My first stop was Garden Eden which was a total rip off ($60 to see boobs, oooh) then something like $100 poorer we made a trip down to Roaring 20's. I don't know if my friends picked it as random or they knew about it, but we went in and I was suddenly bombarded by a stage of strippers sucking down on popsicles in between the legs of a few patrons. At first I thought they were suckin on their meatsicles which made me a little nervous but it was still awesome. The place was fairly nice and there was a few strippers that I absolutely adored, one being Alaina. I think Alaina's nipples were one of the qualities that "stuck out" (I know, stupid pun) but there was something about em, they were just beautiful. Somehow girls with pokey nipples attract me more than girls with large breasts. Unfortunately I did not get a private lapdance with her but I wasn't looking for one, in fact I was close to broke. The strip club was about to close. My best friend and his girlfriend were trying to get a private lap dance and the club was officially closing with the exception of private lap dances. The heat was on, what was I gonna do? Luckily a very attractive stripper by the name of Madame Butterfly (awww brings me back to memories of Pinkerton - Weezer) offers a private lap dance. I had the choice to freeze my ass off on the crime-ridden streets of Broadway as my friend ditched me for his own loving, or to sit comfortably with this attractive stripper. Of course, Brain #2 (penis) kicked in and I was suddenly holding the hands of a female! As I walked up the stairs my friend and his girl friend descend quickly down the stairs without noticing me. I yell for their attention to no avail, I give up and say fuck 'em. Ditch me will ya? Now who's gonna freeze their ass off on Broadway?

So how was the lapdance? First of all, I was expecting this to be a shitty booth like the one at Garden of Eden, but to my dismay, it was more of a bed, and instead of being told to "sit" I was told to lie down. Now expecting to be ripped off again, I ask how much will this $60 get me? She replies, "everything." Yea ok, that doesn't mean much, I asked again, "Well, will you take off all your clothes?" She laughs, "of course, what kind of lapdance would it be if I didn't?" Indeed! It would be a POS GoE lapdance that's what it would be! So she starts with playing with my cock a little (pants still on) Holy shit! A girl just touched the untouchable! This is too surreal! As she's naked on top of me (!!!) I feel around, ah the soft skin of a female, like none other. She's actually ok with me touching her breasts! And I start feeling them, a little hesitant of course (wha? I've never touched boobs before!) and then she asks me if I'm a cop (WTF?!) "No, why do you ask?" "Well you seem like you want to touch me, but then you hesitate." It's only because I'm freggin Extra Virgin, I let her know this, and somehow, like all girls, acts surprised. The dance was more of a dry humping session and was quite nice. All I can say is I left there a very very happy man.

So let's fast forward one year, June 19th 2003. I get off work to listen to the answering machine only to hear a message from my roommates stating "hey, it's my girlfriend's 18th birthday, and we're bringing her to a strip club, care to join?" "Fuck yea!" I yell to my answering machine as my roommate tells me he will be over soon, but oh fuck, when did he call? Is it too late? I'm not expecting that I will actually get the chance but I start combing the web for strip clubs in SF with Roaring 20's in the back of my mind. Finally I make up my mind and it's Roaring 20's, Strip Club List stated that it would be a $20 cover charge each but I lied to my roommate and said it was $15 each but it *might* be $20. So we're on our merry way to SF as I'm sleeping in a very uncomfortable Accord seat (does not compare to my squishy Volvo seat!) We finally get there and luck out on finding parking on a metered space that only works 9a - 6p. Awww yeaaa, things are going great. Somehow we found Broadway with no problem (I couldn't find that fuckin street when I got lost in SF) and now we even find the club with no problem. We come in and the bouncer says it's $15 per couple. Per couple!!! OMG! Talk about strip clubbing on a budget (if only I was wearing a wig and waxed my legs.) We enter and the place is small and is practically empty, with the exception of some drunk businessmen in suits. Awesome! It's not crowded with old sweaty men. I first get the trial, by just watching the girls and not tipping (yea I know, I'm an asshole but I just got here dammit!) Then, the 3 people on the first row seats leave so no one is there. How fun can that be stripping for no one? (Well I guess it can be better than stripping for nasty men like me.) So I go ahead and get one the seats near the stage and tip a dollar, and this stripper...wow, dark brown hair and brown eyes, she was something...*takes a minute to drool* very nice very pretty. So a few dances go by, a giggly Asian girl offers me and my roommate a lapdance in the booths, my roommate seems to want to do it more than me so whatever. We go, and she's doing crazy shit with my roommate (I guess that's the great thing about being a girl) and doesn't really do much with me. Unfortunately, I pay $45 for this shit! My roommate doesn't give me anything! I'm pretty pissed and not that satisfied. I go back out and I see Alaina dancing *more drooling* One of the things that really got to me is that she looks like a girl named Tess (well I guess you really can't call a 36 year old mom a 'girl') and man I'm infatuated with Tess, I just wish I could see her again. They offer private dances again, I hope she asks me, but nothing, not even a glance.

So the night goes on, more nekkid chicks some hot, some not so hot. Then private lap dances are offered again , 2 for 1. Alaina goes walking around looking for a guy willing to pay the price of dancing with the goddess, nothing. She gets denied, great for me. She asks the guy next to me, gets denied, practically walks by me but then she looks at me, "care for a dance?" "Yes, please!" I reply. Finally! The girl I've been waiting for!

An Indian gentlemen tells me that she is great, I wanted to say, "No shit, just look at her!" so as we were walking up the stairs, everything seemed so surreal, I'm not here, but wait, I'm shaking like the virgin shy guy I am, and she notices it. I tell her that I'm nervous and she asks if I'm a virgin. Of course I am, I tell her I am (I know I know, honesty gets you nowhere, but this a stripper dammit!) It's like I told her the world was flat, she was surprised and couldn't understand why I'm still a virgin. She asks if I get out much and I reply, "not really" and she asks me how old I am, finally she understands why I'm a virgin.

So how was the lap dance? Awesome! Like I said before, her skin was sooo smooth and of course, she got fully naked. She had a beautiful face and a beautiful body to back it up. A very nice arse, legs to die for, and those nipples, oh man, all erect! It was so nice feeling her soft skin, and her thighs! Oh man, nothing turned me on more than sliding my hands down her inner thigh. Eventually I was brave enough to feel her tits and rub on those beautiful nipples, if only I could suck on them...if only I could go down on her...Unfortunately it had to end, it's amazing how much money you spend in that short amount of time.

As I left the strip club, the dream had ended (somehow seeing naked girls seems unreal to me) and I was back to my single, lonely life. I always wondered if this was what falling in love feels like, but instead of not getting what you want, you finally receive something beautiful that you never want to let go. Of course everything must equal out; therefore nothing seems right and you have to deal with the endless relationship bullshit. I can't wait for the day when we realize that we are just animals that want to fuck but at the same time love each other for who we are and not something we want each other to be.

So in conclusion, fuck bitches...and now I'm off to watch some pr0n and dream about strippers.

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