karniv0re's Journal: 2017 Year In Review

Another year comes to a close. Maybe the weirdest year I've ever experienced, too.

We started the year with the end-term of a measured and thoughtful (and perhaps overreaching at times) president, and handed the keys over to a fucking lunatic. The results have been about what you'd expect. And it is impossible to talk about this year without mentioning this asshole. He injects himself into every arena (including actual arenas which used to be political asylums where red and blue were just the color of the jerseys) and drives wedges between everyone and everything.

I made it until about October and news fatigue finally hit me. I no longer want to know what's going on. I can't do it anymore. I'll still vote. Occasionally write or call a senator, but let's be honest. Even that's not doing anything. They didn't listen on Net Neutrality. They BARELY listened on Obamacare - just squeezed by with that McCain vote - but they're still finding loopholes to scrap it. They aren't listening on guns. They aren't listening on taxes. The country is on sale to the wealthy. The rest of us are just along for the ride as we always have been.

So I just can't anymore. For my own personal sanity and stress levels. I'm trying to focus on me. Putting myself into a better position to be successful, and therefore have more impact. Perhaps by becoming a 1%-er. Maybe with some financial clout, I'll have more of a voice since that seems to be the law of the land.

Otherwise, this year was underwhelming academically. Time Series Analysis could have been a great class, but it was taught badly. Data Visualization was also disappointing. What I did learn could have been taught in about a week. Decision Support Systems should have had "for Managers" appended to the title, because we really didn't get very deep into anything. It was all busy work and group projects. Data Quality Management was maybe the worst class I've ever taken. I learned about Control Charts, and that's about it. Such a waste of time.

At the same time, I was living my best life for a while there this summer. I took the buyout from my company and I made an extra $70k this year. Enough to pay off all my credit cards and buy a whole bunch of shit including a 2013 Mini Cooper S. Not that I wanted it, but I needed it to drive my ass to my new job. I'm making 20% more at that job too without benefits. I'm still paying off one last loan, but I think I can get that done by the end of my contract.

I made it to Deathfest again, and had an almost religious experience (Satanic obviously) in the Vader mosh pit. It was one of the few times I felt truly happy this year. Actually, let's do a recap by month:

January: I was a newly single man, as my girlfriend of 4.5 years came out as gay just after Christmas. It was a fairly ho-hum month otherwise. Began Tindering.

February: Hung with the old high school friends. Went to Mexico City to see a girl. The sex was ok and it was a fun trip. I saw the Aztec ruins and we went to a Gorguts show. It was a nice vacation. Finished up an ETID tattoo. Made friends with some girls in my math class, but the cute one wasn't interested in me. Went to Get Out, which was pretty great. Saw Against Me! and ETID.

March: Saw Lucero. Ran the Heat the Streets run in a decent time. Saw Crowbar/Havoc. Started chatting with this random chick from Snapchat (which was kind of dumb, but I wasn't getting any so I needed some kind of stimulation). Saw Portugal. The Man. Saw Fallujah. Got my other bird tattoo, and the fork bomb tattoo. Started training for a marathon. Saw Anvil.

April: Got setup with a fuckbuddy who was just fantastic in bed. We only met up twice though, so that was that. Had an actual argument with a Tinder match. Deleted Tinder for a day or two. Ran 17 miles! Participated in the March for Science. Did 300 burpees.

May: Got my 4 heads tattoo. And then the trouble started. The ex- told me how depressed she had become. For pretty much the entirety of May, I was on-call for suicide watch. I was fortunate enough to have a job that I could pretty much leave at any time to go be with her. Coupled with her being sick about every other day, it was a bad situation. I still managed to see Dillinger Escape Plan and Goatwhore, and things worked out just so I could get to MDF again and have a fantastic time, and even bang a girl off Tinder.

June: More of the same with the ex-. Fights with her girlfriend and depression led her to move back in with me but she was almost just as unhappy with that situation. I ended up finding her a pretty reasonable apartment and once I got her moved in there (and bought her a bed), she was finally able to figure her life out. My mom stayed with me for 4 days too, which was kind of rough. I met some 21 year old friends at the 10th street bars who kind of helped me through the summer, though only by way of partying (not really being friends or anything). Still, it's what I needed. I made out with some girl at the CWS, who wasn't cute, but it was still fun. Did the CWS 5k run at a 6:35 pace. And I ran 19 miles!

July: Pretty much just Lacy from Tinder. We hung out 4 times and had some fun, but there really wasn't anything there. Still, got to bang in a pool on my roof. Also went on a date with a girl in an open marriage. That went nowhere and was just kind of annoying. I did get to see Unsane though, and got my You Suffer But Why? tattoo.

August: Pretty much a dud of a month. Hung out more with the 21 year olds. Released my mobile app. Met with my Dr. friend about getting a grad project going. Worked Maha, but didn't really watch the bands. But mostly, there was just kind of a lack of a sense of being needed. Once the ex- was able to find her way on her own, I was pretty much no longer in the picture and I felt like I had no purpose. When the Solar Eclipse happened, I felt like I had turned a corner and all the sudden, I didn't recognize anything. I needed to find my own way, my own purpose. I also ran 22 miles.

September: Started this month out with a strong decision: a vasectomy. It really wasn't bad and now I have nothing to worry about as far as accidents go. I turned 35, which sucks. I saw Exodus, and there was a Nazi there so that kind of ruined the show. Finally got my layoff processed. Went to Riot Fest and had a pretty good time. Met two random girls and we had a blast (but no action). Had several interviews for jobs. Ran a fucking marathon in pretty decent time. Banged Lauryn, which was just ok.

October: Saw Menzingers. Got my Friday the 13th tattoo. Started messing around with a married girl. Bought a car. Started my new job. And then had one of the worst days of my life, the effects of which still kind of haunt me. Nevertheless, went to Atlanta for my Spartan Super and banged a stripper right there in the club. Got my Athena tattoo.

November: Finished Athena tattoo. Saw Mayhem and Black Anvil. Hung out with the married girl again. Set up two Tinder dates in one week only to have one cancel the day of, and the other ghost the day of. Banged some random kinda fat 20 year old. Began a gratitude journal.

December: The year is ending on a better note. Went to Las Vegas for Christmas with my family and spent way too much money at the strip club. I matched with a girl who actually came out when I asked her out. We had a great time, and have hung out about 6 times now in 3 weeks. She stayed the night on Christmas Eve and had some of the best sex ever. I actually really like this one and is definitely the one good thing I have going right now. Also got my squid, crystal ball, y-hat, and plague doctor tattoos.

2017 by the numbers:
11 - Tattoos
$2,500 - Estimated money spent on tattoos
$18,000 - Cost of buying my car outright
8 - Number of new girls I had sex
10 - Suit jackets purchased and tailored
3 - Hamilton watches purchased
5 - Trips taken (Mexico City, Baltimore, Chicago, Atlanta, Las Vegas)
4 - Girls slept with in different cities (although Chicago was platonic, and Vegas was surprisingly a dud)

On paper it looks like a pretty good year, but looking at the whole of it, it was not a very happy year. I blame half of that on the political climate. The other half I blame on the ex- (not her directly, but her situation), and on struggling with getting back into the dating market. It has been more difficult than I would have expected at 35. Here's hoping that I can take 2018 in a completely different direction.