fl!ptop's Journal: Has flying always been such a major pain in the ass?

Last week I took my first flight on an airplane, and was it ever a huge pain in the ass.

First off, you are told to arrive 2-3 hours early to avoid delays. Why? So we can sit around for 2-3 hours waiting at the gate for our flight to start boarding?

There should be rules, or outright bans on having kids sit on the laps of adults. On the 3+ hour flight to Cancun, Mexico the woman sitting behind me let her kid kick the back of my seat every 20 seconds or so for the better part of 2 hours. Since it was my first flight, I was afraid to say or do anything about it for fear I would be put on some "watchlist." I didn't realize you can ask the flight attendants to talk to the offending party for you until after the flight was over.

On the return flight, a kid about 4 rows ahead of us was bawling loudly for what seemed like an hour. Hey Dad, guess what? If you can't comfort your kid and get him to shut the hell up in less than an hour, everyone around you probably is thinking you should be taking some parenting skills classes.

The flights we were on came with a complimentary drink. This should be stopped altogether. I mean, c'mon flight attendants, when the old ladies who dress like they raided the bargain bin at JCPenney need to take a pee every 15 seconds, don't you have second thoughts about serving them that soft-drink that's loaded with caffeine? The last thing I need is for them to be waiting for the bathroom to become available with their Jean Naté stinking asses 6 inches from my face. Aisle seats in the back of the plane should be sold at a discount.

And speaking of flight attendants, I figured it would be just like the movies where they all look like Franka Potente or Halle Berry. No, not true. One guy was missing an eye, the chick reminded me of Scary Spice, and one had on so much makeup and jewelry I thought she was a complimentary hooker.

I think I'll stick to driving.