TrollBack's Journal: February Trollback

The heat is on, the time is right,
It's time for you, for you to play the game.
'Cause people are coming, everyone's trying,
Trying to be the best that they can,
When they're going for... going for... Gold.

Yes, that's right; after a 3 month hiatus we are back with a monthly trollback, and who else could be more worthy to announce such a monumental occasion than the notorious UK paedophile Henry Kelly.

Moving on faster than Anna Nicole Smith after J. Howard Marshall II died, it is hard to post the monthly trollback without talking about the recent changes around slashdot:

Junis is orphaned:

Yes, trollback has lost all hope, and has resigned to the reality that JonKatz has left. There are few who would believe that Taco has the balls to fire him, so trollback can only assume that he resigned having accomplished his life goal: free advertisement to 500,000 geeks for his book about a dog. Granted that article is nearly a year old, but as his last work it seems wrong not to mention it as tribute to the greatest troll who ever lived. Truly an American icon

Zoo:

Apparently Taco, not satisfied with claims of Slashdot circle-jerks, decided to make it official. Now, not only is it possible to tease the cock by marking him as friend, creating an extended black-book of potential booty-calls through the FOAF function, but it is possible to restrict journals such that comments can only come from friends and friends-of-friends. In entirely unrelated news, this mode is used exclusively by Taco, presumably to keep those pesky non-brown-nosers away. Well fortunately open source strikes again.

Moderations:

In what can only be an effort to stop me, moderations are now no longer available. Well, you can see the three most prevalent moderation types. As percentages. Which is fine because our glorious emperor finds it "a much more simple and elegant view. Much more useful since for comments with few mods, its irrelevant, and with many mods, I really only want to know what the dominant couple of mods are ".

Special awards:

So, with the crud out of the way, we shall move on to some special mentions, such as $$$$$exygal who has acquired a staggering >1000 fans. I am glad that he has shown the somewhat male population of slashdot to be the pathetic, lonely fucks they are. And by "he", I of course mean "she".

Another worthy mention is everyone's favorite fatty Vlad, who has decided that a man without stalking and harassment for all the family is a man without joy, hence breaking the silence to beg for punishment. Or maybe he's out to use his elite martial arts skills. Have any of you seen The Next Karate Kid? No, thought not. But if you had, that's what Vlad is like, but in the heavyweight division.

One last congratulation for tps12, who has managed to tps12 who has posted a magnificent 1337 comments. Further praise must be awarded for his new persona, who has managed to get a bite on his sig / name for virtually every comment. Trollback and the community salute you.

The editors endorse trolling:

Well, how else would you explain a month that includes not only a Valentine's day article, but an article entitled "Why Nerds Are Unpopular". Could it be that we have misjudged the entire of the Slashdot team and that the entire site is a troll? Bwahahaha! Of course not. But pleasing to see geeks freely talk about what losers they were at school. Trollback never went to school of course, as I was pieced together one sunny day to keep you all up-to-date, however I think it is safe to say that were I at school I would not be laughed at, bullied or otherwise tortured. Or at least if I were, I would not admit it in front of half-a-million people.

I am the alpha and the omega; the beginning and the end:

...But mainly the omega. Trollback is sad to announce he is to leave the site. Trollback does not hide behind proxies and has been IP banned. Trollback has no will to continue.

Privacy 17 / 40, (1337) God, eric grinds out something that is well tested
Chip speed won't save Apple 8 / 10, (1337) God, *Apple is Dying
The true American spirit 14 / 36, (1337) God, Jon Katz has something to say about this
I hope for the sake of our boys 6 / 96, Adam Rightmann, slashdot has blood on its hands!
Linux? 11 / 19, Amsterdam Vallon, on .net patent
Linux? 5 / 10, Amsterdam Vallon, how clichay
The Atom Bomb: A Christly Venture 5 / 9, Anonymous Coward, needs no introduction
Kiss and say goodbye to Java language!! 17 / 43, Anonymous Coward, how did this get replies?
It has to be said.. 7 / 11, Anonymous Coward, fantastic one line flame
Lex Talionis is a morally bankrupt code 14 / 42, Anonymous Coward, an oldie but a goodie
misguided 15 / 26, BsoF thinks that geeks should not reproduce
weird 14 / 36, BsoF lectures slashbots about hiding behind childish nicknames
I have some ideas. 6 / 8, Freston Youseff on why nerds are unpopular
Success! 8 / 15, gazbo says that OSS has achieved what it set out to do
Re:What ??? Impopular, me ???? No way.... linux ro 10 / 77, gazbo on why nerds are unpopular
Well, where to begin 17 / 40, gazbo on why nerds are unpopular (again)
I'll tell you why 9 / 119, Gizzmonic on why nerds are unpopular
That's a real problem with a democracy 15 / 25, Hairy_Potter, we should follow the American example
Script kiddies should be fired 10 / 11, Jeff Probst, no one bites on the obvious
And in one sentence, he described BeOS community 11 / 51, krog with help from Frothy Walrus
Non-profit does not mean unprofessional 9 / 35, ObviousGuy points out the obvious again
You begin by asking questions 13 / 51, ObviousGuy - don't let me stop your circle jerk
ACLU, wrong again 19 / 42, ObviousGuy, but porn does serve a purpose!
Interesting answers, but 14 / 21, PhysicsGenius is -1 Insightful on what Mitnick has learnt
Aren't we forgetting someone? 12 / 29, PhysicsGenius fighting the good fight
Just block the internet in dorm rooms 5 / 6, SexyKellyOsbourne proposes the unthinkable
We dont' need a CHERYNOBL in space! 10 / 22, SexyKellyOsbourne needs no introduction
This should be good news, but... 14 / 16, Sheetrock is worried about job security
this is nothing 8 / 10, Stanley Feinbaum calls them the thieves they are
Aol is within their rights 7 / 21, Stanley Feinbaum
I don't understand 11 / 77, Stanley Feinbaum
Brake by wire? Sounds horrid. 10 / 16, sulli, but this is good news for linux
It happens for more reasons than just nerdiness 13 / 24, t0qer on why nerds are unpopular
Good 10 / 44, unterderbrucke has his priorities right
Not particularly impressive. 9 / 27, Wakko Warner is increasingly bitter
Sad 2 / 14, yatest5, excellent flame

God speed you, sirs, God speed. This is trollback, over and out.

Assuredly so

[unterderbrucke]

I still have not gotten a response as to my banning from Trollback (although it is irrelavent now), and I (selfishly) feel my 3 40+ reply comments still haven't gotten their due.

But, I'm kicking the idea around of actually use that old Troll Digest account. Unfortunately, I don't have the l337 SkIZilZ or time to do it daily, but perhaps weekly summations will suffice, especially with the state of trolling lately.

Nope

[unterderbrucke]

I just don't waste my time around here anymore.

FYI, I pulled out the knife to slit my wrists, but then I realized you don't even belive in yourself enough to post with your real name.

Truly an American icon.

[sulli]

we'll miss you trollback. I say change your IP.

Eulogy

[Sheetrock]

Every once in a great while, a new paradigm is established within the troll community. Be it goatse, hot grits, or page widening to the point the monitor tilts to the right, a dimension is undeniably and irrevokably added to the Slashdot experience by its most oppressed.

Enter Trollback: a marvel in its design, complex in its simplicity. It entertained while at the same time offering insight into people at their most basic. While I myself do not troll, it was as if Kwanza visited me every couple of days and once more every third or fourth month when Trollback and Daily Trollback were introduced. Such delight can only be compared in strength to the dismay I now feel at the discovery that Trollback has been abruptly terminated.

This was a resource that transcended our mere community and offered something to everyone, even those of us who merely enjoy reading trolls. We all fail it.

One can argue that it has been the case throughout history that tyranny breeds stagnation, as intellectualism is squeezed out of every quarter by a ruling elite bent on maintaining control. There may be some consolation in the fact that behind closed doors the books or scrolls always seemed to be tucked away until the pyres of censorship die down, but this is cold comfort to those of us who have reveled in our brief refuge [slashdot.org] from pap and mediocrity. I cannot help but wonder if the war on trolls will ultimately be so successful that Slashdot is rendered a ghost town.