Daengbo's Journal: Oops, I Did It Again (Snubbed Another Woman)

Well, I was in a familiar situation last night, being drunk and hit on pretty heavily by a fairly attractive woman, and I reacted the way I always do -- I backed off into the "obviously friendly" zone and snubbed her. I'm trying to figure out why that is my reaction (and has been throughout my life).

Last night was my 41st birthday party, and all the expats from the surrounding area came out to drink at a local bar and go for some karaoke. There were about fifteen all together. I got liquored up pretty good at the bar, but I like to watch out for Goy (who never slows down), so I didn't drink much while we were singing. An expat who's been here for close to a year and who I've known for a couple started dancing up next to me, and my suspicions about her come-ons were confirmed when she turned away and made the "accidental brush" which really serves as a package check for women on the dance floor. She used to date a guy who slept with Goy a couple years ago, and she knows that we have an open relationship, so I knew that she knew the score.

She was horny and wanted to get laid. Specifically, she's part-time bi and wanted to know if Goy was good in bed because the lady's experience with Asian women had been pretty awful (they don't learn much about sex here). I kept the conversation factual and this woman at arm's length. She went home alone to her vibrator.

As I said, this happens to me fairly often -- probably a dozen times in the last two years. The gamut has been run ... from innuendo to dry humps to a through-the-pants hand job and tongue down the throat. I've treated them the same way every time -- I put them in the friend zone.

I'm starting to wonder why I do this. I don't regret my inability to just "get laid," but I think it must say something important about me that I don't react the way every other man I know would. I'm searching for what that message is.

Power

[bethanie]

Regardless of role-playing that you might do in individual scenarios, you like to be the dominant figure in a relationship. There are lots of guys out there who are secretly relieved to have a woman who takes charge and makes the decisions. But you're one who wants to do the picking and choosing himself.

Just a guess.

Re:

[Daengbo]

There's no doubt that I like to be in control in my life so I guess your theory's possible, but the women I've had sex with in my life a almost all really strong women who chose me.

• My first girlfriend basically pinned me down and told me that we would have sex and I didn't have a choice.
• The second showed up at my door in the middle of the night wanting it.
• The third shoved my hand down her pants at a party.
• The one before Goy dry humped my leg in order to get it done.

In the twenty-odd women I've slept with, T

Re:

[bethanie]

Well, it was just a shot in the dark. You're familiar with those, I'm sure. :-)

Re:

[Daengbo]

Thanks for the feedback. I didn't say that the first time, but I surely meant it. And I prefer the lights on. ;)

Be glad..

[Corporate Troll]

I extremely rarely (never?) get to snub a woman.... :-(