jmu1's Journal: (Most)Recent Epiphone(no, not the guitar)

Just the other day, I was contemplating the termination of my own existance when out of no where I realized that nothing really matters at all. Not you, not me, not the CEO of any corporation. We are all going to die one day. It will be painfull, more than likely not. There is no need for my life to be painful. I have a job because I do things that require at least some sort of income(duh) and I would like to be able to provide for myself and one day my family. Ok, so I reasoned why I have a job, shitty or not(which my job isn't very shitty at all, I just have to work on letting the stupidity of the users slide). Then, I thought about the things I do... not much of anything, recently. Why is that? "Because", I said, "I am mediocre at most of what I do, and I am sick of being second best." Ok, so what am I supposed to do about that? Simple: abject apethy. I'm not in any sort of competition with anyone, why on this vegitated, life-infested rock would I care if I wasn't as capable of any particular action than any other human? I shouldn't. And I'm not going to care anymore. I am just going to accept that I am pretty damn good at everything that I do, and that there will always be someone else out there that can do it better than me. But I can also look at that situation like this: they cannot learn anymore if they are the best, but I can. They can only forget, over time, and die, like you and I will too.