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superyooser's Journal: You might be a Fredhead if... 5

Journal by superyooser
The inspiration for this JE and source of most of these lines is here.

You might be a Fredhead if...

...you blame America last.

...you think "Borders" means solid walls, not a latte-serving bookstore.

..."great hair" is low on your list of presidential requirements.

...you kinda like it when terrorists are made uncomfortable.

...you think non-binding resolutions are for sissies.

...you liked the Conan movies but thought Arnold looked a little wimpy.

...you think Chuck Norris is a pale imitation of FDT.

...you don't wear sunscreen, comfortable in the knowledge that with Fred as your ally, the sun would never dare.

...you know that Fred won't need to push for legislation to make taxes lower... the taxes will crouch in fear on their own when they see Fred coming.

...call you crazy, but you'd prefer a presidential candidate who actually shares your conservative views.

...you think that it is suicidal for Republican candidates to tout awards given to them by the Liberal Media (i.e. Time Magazine; also the AARP!) in their campaign material, especially during the primaries.

...you believe the South Carolina primary is going to look like this after "Bald Bull" Thompson charges over "Little Mac" McCain.

...you think that today's serious foreign policy issues will take more than hillbilly charm and naiveté to handle.

...you prefer movies where American troops are the good guys.

...you think it's great if a murderer finds God, but that doesn't mean he should be let out of prison.

...you think America's sovereignty is kinda important.

...you think anyone who talks about how the rich aren't "paying their fair share" is a whiny little Communist.

...you think someone didn't draw those border lines on a map just for fun.

...you'd like Osama bin Laden's next video to be him pleading, "Someone please help me!" before he's pummeled on screen by the U.S. president.

...you think that the fact the Europeans do something is a good argument for doing something else.

...you love animals... right beside the mashed potatoes.

...you believe that socialized medicine might prove about as effective as public education.

...the phrase "giant corporations" means to you millions of middle-class investors and millions of jobs for the economy.

...the only video you want to see of terrorists is from the camera of a Predator before they disappear in a flash.

...you believe that affairs in the White House should be political in nature, not extramarital.

...you advise that environmentalism should start with reducing government paper wasted on printing non-English documentation.

...you expect the government to secure the border and protect the country rather than give you a free pony.
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You might be a Fredhead if...

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  • by FroMan (111520)
    I like Fred, as I voted for him in the MI primary, but I don't hold out much hope for him to win. I hope that he is popular enough to be an example to the other candidates and influence their positions. The GOP needs to start being conservative again.
    • The trend in this chart [fredheadsusa.org] indicates that Fred will soon be in second place in South Carolina. He is SURGING more than any other candidate! The rest are plateauing or declining.
  • Thompson is the only guy I've ever given money to. Its a shame that the Huckster stole so much of his thunder.

    I'm beginning to think that the best thing that could happen to this party is for someone like McCain or Huckabee or Rudy to win the nomination, and then get their asses absolutely kicked in the general election. Maybe it'll convince the rank and file that it's time for a RINO hunt.
    • by FroMan (111520)
      I'm not sold on the losing to win attitude. Especially not right now with so many of the SC Justices about to buy farm land. There are a couple I am sure that will resign within weeks of an Hillary or Obama inaguration, and I am sure we don't want to see who winds up there from their nominations.

      If the Democrats win I can see a number of the older justices retiring knowing that their judical philosophies will continue by replacements. Only Stevens is really old as dirt. Kennedy, Souter, Ginsburg, and Br

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