Journal Jack William Bell's Journal: You might be a PHB if . . . 1
Along with the post dotcom job market comes many stories of bosses who are happy they can start treating their prima-donna programmers and tech workers like any other employees. No more flexible work hours. No more buying them free tickets to Star Wars so they won't call in sick when it opens. Casual day is back to Friday (instead of every day of the week) and 'casual' means a polo shirt and slacks. Yes folks, the whip hand is back now that the economy is in the dumpster. Legions of PHBs (Pointy-Haired-Bosses) once again call the tune in Cubicleville!
But not every boss wants to be a PHB. Many were once ordinary geeks themselves, Peter-Principled into lower-level management and afraid to rock the boat because they have a family to support (or at least car payments to make). Yet the dark-side is seductive, easier than the light. If such are not careful they will find themselves taking on the habits, even the appearance, of the dread masters. If you are in this position, take great care. And read the following handy guide I have prepared to see if your hair is already starting to develop points...
You might be a PHB if:
- You ever changed an employee's priorities twice or more in the same day
- You take it personally when people don't come in on time
- You don't think the Jargon File definition of recursion is funny
- It never occurred to you that posting a printout of someone's work next to the water cooler with the words 'Cool Code' scrawled on it is almost as good as giving them a raise
- You ever sat in a meeting and nodded as if you understood the technical stuff, but didn't bother to look it up afterwards
- You see a new project as a way to increase your budget instead of a way to do something cool
- You ever refer to employees as 'assets', but treat them like liabilities
- You ever refer to employees as 'headcount', but treat them like they have nothing between the ears
- You can use three or more buzzwords in the same sentence, without really saying anything important
- You think coming in late the day after the Lord of the Rings midnight opening is somehow a bad thing
- It never occurred to you that saying "I understand you are having problems with this, perhaps we could get Sue to do it instead?" is the best way to motivate someone to meet their deadline
- You carry a PDA, but hardly ever use it
- You think it unfair to give Sue an 'excellent' evaluation and/or a raise when no-one else gets one -- even though she is clearly (by far) your best programmer -- and then don't understand why she has an attitude problem
- You don't want to use Open Source code because "The company lawyers would never approve it."
- You are surprised (and a bit hurt by the disloyalty) when Sue quits in the middle of a project because she found another job, somehow despite the economy
- You ever brought in a high-priced consultant and didn't follow their advice, but did hire them again for the next project
- You think it is perfectly appropriate to require five years of buzzword technology experience on a job posting, even though that buzzword technology isn't a year old
- You have different standards for personal web surfing and phone calls for yourself than you do for others
- You don't understand why a programmer needs a different computer configuration than an accountant
- You think an after-hours Quake-Fest is a misuse of company equipment
- You ever referred to your employee's workspace as 'Cubicleville'
- You ever found yourself walking around Cubicleville looking at computer screens for people reading Slashdot
A Keeper (Score:1)
MT.