mwarps's Journal: I just don't understand

I just don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. I try to live my life under some sort of logical premise, now that I've finally got it under control, after 21 years.

People never cease to amaze, shock and disappoint me. Usually I find all of the above in one moment in time so I try not to become too cynical. Maybe this is one of those moments, swept away in regret, worry and disappointment.

In fact, I'm pretty sure it is, so I'm just going to let it pass without even writing about it, though I have this infinite well of indellible ink right now.

I will say this, I'm not melancholy regarding the obvious. I take that with me where and whenever I am. I can't derive hurt from that. I can only derive hope. I am just confused, not of myself, but of others, and why they do what they do to themselves and others.

Perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work. Maybe designing little circuits on little chips isn't what I'm here for. I love doing it though, and I'm decent at it, and can get better.

But people are lacking right now in my life, and I honestly don't know how to fix it. But please don't worry about me. I know some of you will. I'll be fine. I just need to find the path I have somehow managed to lose in the past few weeks.

I love you all.