Journal WannaBeGeekGirl's Journal: survival by expression: Paper's Torn Pages III 1
your blade honed precisely out of lies
fashioned perfectly by your words of deceipt
cold metal chilly with selfishness
its killing edge sharpened deadly by broken promises made over and over
the curve of the blade perfect like the false picture you painted my mind and heart of your intentions
a weapon that only you could wield against me
shocking lies unravel as you drive that weapon into my chest
supine pain, surreal and in slow motion
the blade sinks so easily into my creamy white innocent naive skin
yet, before the tears stinging my eyes distort my view entirely I discern one last scene
the perspective allows me to percieve you as you truely are:
my love, before me with a blade of betrayal penetrating my heart
your face expressionless, unfamiliar
my mind and body begin to fail except for the warmth of my blood upon my skin
the catalyst that stirs me to closure
reaching up I wrap my hand around yours, entwining our fingers over the handle
a pathetic, final grasp at your touch
a desperate gesture of affection for one I loved so.
perhaps your allowance of my touch a lover's solitary final gift
and so, together, consummate, we drive the blade to its hilt
incapacitated, i fall alone
into the empty silence of betrayal
a realm where not even my screams or sobs echo
within the vacuum of love forever vanished
© paperflowers 9.19.05
{Note: I got tired of people telling me that if I didn't express my anger physically by hitting a pillow, shouting "XXXXX", or some way they wanted me to "safely let it out" I'd never heal and possibly "lose it" in a fit of violent rage some day. I exercise when my health allows, I write and use music to let go of anger. Its just not my nature to do otherwise. Contrary to the violent rage theory, research shows the best indication of future behavior is past behavior for someone with my many years of severe unipolar depression. My pen is my boxing glove, the journal my punching bag. I realize words can sting, they can leave scars. Even if I wield a pen in my anger against another human being, its a huge responsibilty, and done with a heavy heart. Something that is essential, though easier said than done, to healing anger for me is forgiveness.}
Vivid; Expressing anger (Score:2)
You capture the change from together (even as it becomes bitter) to alone very well in the seventh and eighth lines of the third stanza. There is a powerful feeling of intimacy, which is what really makes the poem work. I feel the emotions of being betrayed, much as you must have. Thank you for sharing this one.
As far as physically expressing anger is concerned, I very much agree with your opinion.