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SolemnDragon's Journal: The motorist's prayer 4

Journal by SolemnDragon

The motorist's prayer

Forgive me, o lord, for my infidelities: it's hard enough to stay on the same road, let alone the same lane.

Forgive me, please, for yelling at the idiot in front of me, who's about to do the same damned-fool thing that i always do, and is still cheerful enough to wave to me about it when i'm so far gone that i can only cuss.

Forgive me for crossing four lanes without so much as a signal. Wide is the path of temptation.

Direct me, lord, because i'm a lost soul, and still haven't stopped for directions.

May those who love us, love us well. Those who do not love us, please turn their hearts, and if you cannot turn their hearts, at least MAKE THEM USE THE FREAKING BLINKER, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT'S THERE FOR!!!!

Teach me to accept thy red lights and speed limits, and grant me good companions that i may use thy car pool lane without rage or impatience.

Forgive my wrath, or at least get this bastard out of the passing lane before i have an aneurysm or something.

Watch over my brakes, and deliver me from potholes and deer, the sworn enemies of the traveller. Though i drive on the edges of the borders of insanity, i will not pick up the hitchhikers of discord or despair, for thou art my navigator and my co-pilot, responsible for the map and the milkshakes. I will not disrupt thy re-folding of the map, but shall trust in your knowledge and have faith in your ways. I will even try to learn to let you touch the radio, eventually.

Forgive my haste; i wasn't aware that it was posted 45.

For the grace of green lights, and the times that we have driven with contentment and a full tank, we thank thee. May thy presence on all roads be as a speed trap for our enemies, and a comforting seat belt in times of hazard.

Thank you, o lord. Amen.

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The motorist's prayer

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  • by nizo (81281) *
    Where is the part about smiting the idiot drivers??? Because the world needs more stupid driver smiting. Just say smite to yourself about four times and it doesn't even sound like a real word anymore. Smite smite smite.
    • Smite not the stupid and the ignorant, lest i be among them.
      • by nizo (81281) *
        Hehe


        This reminds me of something that popped into my head (as I was driving home to NC from Boston many years ago actually). Somewhere down the road I saw a swarm of people blow by following each other too closely, and I blurted out, "Wow look, a pile of tailgaters just went by" (i.e. as in a gaggle of geese, herd of cats, etc). Hey I thought it was clever...

  • ....let me keep thy idiot in mine sight as i reload the holy tool of smiting.....

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