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Journal Ethelred Unraed's Journal: I *must* be bored 18

Journal by Ethelred Unraed

I'm working on a letterhead design at the moment, and I guess you can tell I'm a bit annoyed at it. (It's for a company that makes equipment for fertility clinics.)

As a placeholder recipient address, I came up with:

Dr. John Richard Johnson
Nockerup Clinic
169 Fallopian Tube
Givera, KS 42420
USA

And it's signed:

Sincerely yours,

Alfred E. Newman

And in my current mood, I may well send it to the client like that. (They probably wouldn't get the joke anyway. Then again, they'd probably ask, and I'd have to explain...)

Bleah. On days like this, I really hate work.

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I *must* be bored More

I *must* be bored

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  • Hehe (Score:2)

    by nizo ( 81281 ) *
    Wait, you are saying that desktop publishing isn't the most exciting, fast paced, thrill-a-minute job I was (mis)lead to believe it was? Tellyawhat, how about I do the letterhead, and you come figure out why our new network connection isn't working. Oh wait, after pounding my head on it for three days, I figured out the company sent us the wrong netmask. I am so retarded and annoyed.

    • Wait, you are saying that desktop publishing isn't the most exciting, fast paced, thrill-a-minute job I was (mis)lead to believe it was?

      Well, aside from the exotic locations around the globe, fantastic high-tech gadgets to smite my foes, constantly having incredible women dangling from my arms, lighting my Havanas with €500 notes, and looking damned fine in a Saville Row suit, it's a fucking bitch.

      The added dimension to the story, actually, is that one reason I like being self-employed is I don't

  • Nockerup Clinic
    169 Fallopian Tube
    Givera, KS

    All this I get, but if there is more joke to it... I don't get it. Ah, we dumb people that don't understand English enough to get "jeux-de-mots" (puns).

    • "Nockerup" -> "knock her up" -> get her pregnant.
      "169" -> "I sixty-nine". (I'm sure you know what "sixty-nine" means. The sexual position.)
      "Fallopian Tube" is just a play on how "Tube" could be a street in this case. The Fallopian tubes are the conduits through which the egg travels from an ovary before arriving in the uterus.
      "KS" normally is the postal abbreviation for "Kansas", but if you read it aloud, "Givera, KS" comes out to "give her a kiss".

      You forgot the name. ;-)

      "Dr. John" is sort

      • Actually, if you re-read my post you'll see that I got the whole address joke. That's okay, I was just wondering about the name, which you explained by now.

  • You changed my letterhead and now my Sony Camera doesn't work. Why did you do this?

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by nizo ( 81281 ) *
      I swear some days I think you work here. "I heard something about the mail server being down last week. Is that why my cat caught fire last night?"
      • That's not so bad, worse is the opposite:

        "Word was slow, so I deleted all the files on the department server and burned the backups. Then I killed the sysadmin and pissed on his grave."

        What? Why would you even think that this would fix it? Our phone number is just a 4 digits, just call us if shit doesn't work!

        Back to the JE and speaking of easily amused, we're trying to teach the kids manners, making them say please and thank you. I giggle every time I hold out a pack of Ritz crackers and get Mercer to say
        • I went to lunch with a few girls from work a couple weeks ago. They all 3 happened to be black. We get in the girl's SUV and start to back up. Some white dude walked behind the moving vehicle, oblivious to it's motion. Her reverse object sensor started beeping and she slammed on the brake and said, "Stupid Ass Cracka!" Then she remembered I was in the car and said, "Oh baby, I'm sorry." I said, "Why? Stupid cracka needs to watch where the hell he's going!"

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by ellem ( 147712 ) *
        Best one today:

        Last week you upgraded the mail server. Will we be able to get mail before it's sent now?

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by Degrees ( 220395 )
          Isn't the answer to this "Yes, but I find that often people don't have reactions fast enough to tell. And I have to request that you please do NOT wear out the keyboard by trying. Keyboards are expensive. Thank you."

    • Fuck! The client's reading my JE! Fuck!

      It all makes sense now. ellem == L.M. == Lester Monoglot, bane of technologically-inclined designers everywhere.

      Well, to be honest, Mr. Monoglot, to tell you the full truth, you were only using your camera to film up the skirt of Ms. Patty Hippo (why? why?), and by the way we all know you pick your nose and savor the results in the men's room while reading back issues of Popular Mechanics. And anyway I changed the letterhead because you're just a dick.*

      Cheers,

      E

  • That's "Mr. Neuman" [wikipedia.org] to you, Ethel.

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