(email from my mum)
(my sister) called... Friday night, to ask for -'s (Jr. - you guy's father's) social security number.
I found it for her, and she confirmed that the name and information she found on the social security web site was correct. I am sorry to have to tell you that he has passed away, last October 21st. Place of death was listed as -, Mass. She looked in the phone book, and found his address. He had been living in B-, Mass. She got in touch with people out there, and has told me that he had a long relationship with a woman named K-, who reported that he had died of complications around a liver transplant which he received as a result of liver failure. He was diabetic. She also reports that [my father] had been clean and sober, and that he had gone back to school and had become a geologist, with a minor in Chinese.
I am sorry to have to write this to you - it's a situation where if I tell you, it's not a great thing, and if I don't tell you, it's not a good thing. R[My sister] has had a good deal to say about this whole situation, which I will not go into - it's her stuff. She has gotten in touch with [paternal grandmother], and reports that M- and D- [father's brothers] are still around. If you want more information, please get in touch, and I will help you how ever I can.
Again, I am sorry to have to write this to you, and I am sorry for this loss.
Please remember that I love you.
Call if you want to.
I've been out of touch with my father for twenty years. This really messes with me. I don't know how i feel- sad, and angry, and i'm glad he straightened out, but that makes it somehow harder, because i never got to know him as a decent man who was clean and sober.
I think i have some grieving to do. But i also need to find out what i can, now that we know where he went. I'm glad he made himself a new life, but it doesn't make it any easier to have been a part of the old one.
meep. i think i have something in my eye, and it might be a tearstorm.