karniv0re's Journal: Things Are Looking Up!

After re-reading my last journal entry, man. This year has sucked. Shit was bleak. And it all culminated into a terrible, awful week. A got into CRNA school and I was so, so happy for her. But that was where the happy times ended. We went out to celebrate, but I had a feeling I should set up the dog cam, because I was worried that the dog had been barking when we'd leave again. No sooner had we got to the restaurant 3 blocks away than he started backing. I sprinted home to stop him, but that was it for our night. She finally made the decision to give up the dog.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, taking a dog we both loved to the Humane Society. Putting him behind the kennel and shutting it and looking at his sad, scared little face. I had to hold back the tears. But there was nothing else we could do. She had a hard time with it. She thought she could get something else fluffy, so she decided to get a bunny. That lasted about 2 days, before she realized she was deathly allergic to the hay it requires. So she told me to go set it free, which I for some reason, listened to her and did. A few hours later, we got a call from the Humane Society about our bunny being found. I was so fucking pissed off, both in that we clearly got caught, and in that I listened to her in the first place and let that poor bunny go in the park. Stupid. Thinking about that day just brings back so many angry feelings. We almost broke up over that.

And maybe a day later, we realized her cat was peeing on the carpet. I honestly didn't think I could take any more. Another trip to the Humane Society. Ugh. Shittiest. Week. Ever.

But you know what? Things are improving. She's still getting over the dog, I think, but all in all, everything has been so much better without him. Now we're free to go out, enjoy our night, not worry about if he's barking, or if we need to take him to doggy daycare. Plus, that's less money we have to spend. So yes, things are finally looking up. We've had good nights together again.

And just recently, I've learned that our architect is leaving, opening up his position. I want it. I talked to my boss' boss about it. He sounded interested in entertaining the idea. I don't have 10+ years of experience, but it's close. I know that if I were thrust into the position, feeling uncomfortable again would spur me to get better and learn more. I already feel half-way capable. Being shoehorned into an architect position would be just the inspiration I need to be interested in my job again.

I do fear that I'll be failing at the stock market if I do this, but that'll always be there and it's not even a guaranteed win. A promotion to architect would be a guaranteed win, as long as I didn't fuck up. Anyway, the job should be posting soon. We'll see how this goes...