Journal bellus quies's Journal: Sleepless Night, needing to vent. 2
Ok, not a good way to go to sleep arguing with your boyfriend. Evidently he got upset when I remembered a bit of something that happened last year that a friend reminded me when she visited last weekend. That she had commented on when we were camping last year, how my boyfriend's best friend had brought up the size of condom my boyfriend uses and that I thought I was funny that someones best friend would be concerned with how large one's dick is. Then my boyfriend got all upset that I was making a comment that he felt he had to defend his best friend against. OK, I didn't really get this part seeing that I through I was bringing up something funny and he got upset at it. I understand not wanting me to bring things up that he feels the need to defend his friend against. But this case of him feeling he needed to defend his friend when his friend was making fun of him for using Magnum's?!? I didn't get this. If I was talking shit about his Nicaraguan Girlfriend coming over on a fiance's visa so that they can date..that I could understand...somewhat (because my boyfriend thinks this is a fallacy too and openly states that). So the conversation denigrated into arguing about drama and how he thinks that we bring more drama into our lives that his friend and sisters do. OK, I got upset at that one too. Since all the effort into fixing things seems so one sided. My boyfriend changing and going out of his way to mend things, and me trying my best to get out of my comfort zone and offer an olive branch to his best friend only to have him lie to me and turn it down. I'm frustrated that my boyfriend's sisters and best friend are throwing fits and talking behind his back, only to have my boyfriend then go out of his way to mend things? I just see that as making things worse. If they throw fits and insult my boyfriend and me, and it gets my boyfriend to do something that they want, I just see that it perpetuates that action and will lead to more fits from his family and friends in the future. And the fact that right now we're just staying in Texas so that we can mend things with them. I find that that gives all the decision making to others too, again further reinforcing that if his family argues with him and picks fights with him then he will stick around and do special things for them.
So ya that was all running through my head at 4am this morning and so I couldn't sleep until the alarm went off at 6. I'm just fed up at all this drama instigated by his best friend and perpetuated by his sisters. yes his best friend added fuel to the fire back in December by talking to my boyfriend's sisters, complaining about my boyfriend and myself to them without talking directly to my boyfriend about the problem. Further compounded by my boyfriend going to his sisters for advice on how to fix things between me and his best friend. Then blah blah drama in the spring, drama over spring break, drama over Easter, drama seems to spring up monthly. And I'm sick of it. It's putting tremendous pressure on my boyfriend and me and it's not helping our relationship one bit. My boyfriend thinks that we just need to step back and be patient and his sisters and best friend will come around. That he thinks if he fixes his relationship with his sister that then he can address why she's upset with me. Ya, she was visiting Austin, his best friend showed her my livejournal and she got upset about something I wrote. whatever I don't know, my boyfriend won't ask.. But I do know that I kept my Livejournal PC because I know that people my boyfriend knew read it and I didn't want to disparage them publicly in front of people they know. I post more things here in
I'm frankly fed up and all this drama makes me want to run. I don't like living in hostile territory with things looming over my head like they are. And then last week when my boyfriend's best friend lashes into him with an e-mailed tirade on how he's a bad friend and doesn't hang out with him or e-mail him or IM him anymore. And my boyfriend comes home upset and vents to me at how upset he is with his friend, that he does call him. But his friend always says he's busy and will call him back and doesn't. And on the rare occasion that he does it's always at one minute after his free minutes start. And my boyfriend is' upset that his best friend is so cheap that he won't spend $5 for cell minutes to talk to him. And that he doesn't reply to his e-mails, when all he e-mails out are links for cars on e-bay and pics of cheerleaders and other web junk. That his best friend doesn't take time out to write to him, it's pissing him off. So the results of his best friends rant...my boyfriend putting effort out to reply to the links, and IMing him while he's out walking the dog.
I just wish that everyone would stop all this back biting and drama and just talk things out and communicate and clear up all the miscommunication and gossip. But my boyfriend and his family are all non-confrontational, so they don't talk about things, just ignore them and pretend that it didn't happen. And then my boyfriend blow up at me upset when I'm trying to talk things out with him and he actually has to face the truth of his family's behavior rather that sweeping it all under the rug like he's always done in the past. Yes, there is something to be said for forgiveness. But forgiveness and ignoring problems are two separate things.
Relationships are hard enough and work without all the additional stress of his family going through growing pains and turning that pain and frustration towards me and my boyfriend.
Wow I got through writing all that without crying. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I usually cry when I vent like that which makes it a bit awkward when I write while at work. Whatever...
That reminds me.. (Score:2)
Words to live by.
Re:That reminds me.. (Score:1)
Amen to that.