blinder's Journal: Ugh, Next Time I'll Proof Read Better

i just went through the comments in my last je. *sigh* i should have done a better of describing what i was talking about.

the "noticing" i am talking about is having created something that has value that is useful for someone else, that has a purpose beyond my own. i know all about doing the stuff i do because i want to do them, and i know not to worry about what others think. trust me, i'm the last person who needs to be told that... having grown up in the environment i did.

here let me break it down this way. diysearch, i started this 10 years ago. that doesn't mean i started thinking about it in 1996 and finally got around to putting it up... no, it means that i first launched it in 1996 and i have been working on it ever since... and in that decade i feel, like today, that it just isn't terribly useful or of a significant value (aside from what i get out of it). that it isn't noticed as being valuable.

does that make sense?

i don't care about not being famous, or popular. i don't need anyone's approval to do the things i do (like music, my web site etc.) -- the validation i was talking about was through the value of the endeavor. that is where i feel the disappointment.

i don't need to be the next google. i don't need to have a yacht to prove i am smart, i don't need an ipo to show the world i created something of value. the disappointment is just what it is, that i fear this project isn't living up to what i had envisioned - that it provides value.

but like i said in my blog post, i'm not going to let that stop me. i still derive a great deal of value from my projects. so in the grandest diysearch trandition: i don't need you *wink* :)

Re:

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Measuring yourself using the wrong yard-stick

[arb]

You don't need to worry how your site compares to the rest of the internet, rather how your site compares to its peers.

Re:Measuring yourself using the wrong yard-stick

[blinder]

no i get that :) i really really do :)
in fact, and this isn't a comparison game... in fact, just when i saw the numbers, it is just what got me started, because i was comparing with what the site used to do... so actually i was comparing the site with itself. that's what got me started on this.

and i actually don't worry about this - disappointment, for me, isn't the same as worry. its just something i process (and i did that by writing about it) and then just keep on keepin' on.

pretty groovey that way.

actua

In the spirit of community

[rk]

I added a link to my games website. Someday, I'll be as cool as you[1] and have a collection of music up somewhere and I'll add that, too.

[1] - Yeah, I know... Nobody is as cool as t3h B1ind3r. ;-)

to be honest...

[bryanthompson]

First, I think the idea is great, and you have far more experience in teh interwwweb than I do. It sounds useful and interesting, but as a visitor I felt like something's missing. Tonight I spent the most amount of time I've ever spent on diysearch.com... 5 minutes. There are two things that kindof turn me off to the site. First, 'I DON'T NEED YOU' in all caps really reeks of the anti-establishment, anti-everything attitude that you say you want to avoid in the faq. DIY Search could be... "DIY Search.

Re:to be honest...

[blinder]

heh, first thing. diysearch *is* anti-establishment. its foundation is completely anti-establishment... the whole "do it yourself" ethic is all about not relying on anyone or thing. the site isn't anti-corporate/anti-capitalist, meaning there isn't an attitude of believing there is evil in corporations or being a capitalist (in fact, doing the diy thing is all about capitalism).

the "i don't need you" says everything. the site's roots and my roots for that matter are in the hardcore world. where fierce rugge