bellus quies's Journal: Dinner? or not?

I'm thinking of going to dinner with the family. Just to spite the sister. Fuck them, right now I'm deciding to be a part of my BF's life and her childish manipulations aren't going to work on me.

That's what my BF's mom told him is that it seems like his sisters are ganging up on him. All for their perceived greater good and all for the happiness of my boyfriend. Because the sisters think that I'm manipulating my BF and taking him away from his friends and family.

So I also guess that in part I don't want to give his sisters more fodder using my absence at dinner as a ruse for them to try and show how I'm such a bad person, trying to tear my BF away from his family.

hmmm.

[btlzu2]

i don't fully understand what's going on there, but i think a good thing to remember is you don't have to please anyone. your relationship is between you and your boyfriend and if he can't separate that, you might have a bit of a problem there. if he allows himself to be manipulated by that drama and can't see through it, you both probably need to talk about that...

i think that situation must be pretty tough for you. i could imagine feeling pretty squirmy and uncomfortable (to say the least) in that situ

Re:hmmm.

[bellus quies]

Ya I do see how I don't need to get caught up in their family stuff. I am glad that I did go to dinner because it helped my boyfriend see how childish how his sister was being and hte entire drive back he was tlaking about how angry he was iwth his sisters that they pull this childish crap. As his sister all through dinner didn't talk to me or him at all, pulling the ice queen routine. How he says that it's upsetting that he has a better relationship with my sisters than he does his own.

And virtue with strength wins out

[perfessor multigeek]

Glad to see that it went well. One of the most satisfying forms of gamesmanship in the world is to utterly refrain from gaming the situation and hence provide a contrast to the less civilized. Not only is it fun in the moment and right after, I find that thinking back on such events even years later brings a peaceful, warm feeling and a desire to do it again.

Perhaps your motto for a while should be that ol' bit of mock Latin: Non illegitemi carborundum. Don't let the bastards wear you down.

-Rustin

Re:hmmm.

[btlzu2]

i think it's times like this that really make or break a relationship in the long run. being "the better person" in a stressful situation should, i think, be something that strengthens your relationship. for how you feel about yourself and how your bf feels about you. oh, and also for how your bf handles intruding stress from his family. i'm glad i finally learned those lessons because in the past, i was just worried about shallow things. bah. had to grow up at some point!

my former boss told me back wh