perfessor multigeek's Journal: Those Pesky Criminals in Office

With the conviction of Cunningham in the news I've decided to start a project that's been on my mind for years, a list of every politician who we know committed crimes. Who, what, when, Democrat or Republican, etc.

There has been a lot of debate about whether the current incarnation of the GOP is fundamentally corrupt or if it's an attention issue. I say we have no grounds to discuss it without better data. At some point I'll be dropping in the Teapot Dome folks, the Reagan 29, and just about half the elected officials of Alabama, Louisiana, New Jersey, and Texas. But I'm starting with an itty-bitty set of the ones that first came to mind and even those are not yet filled in. That, of course, will change.

So I'm including here my very rough beginning of this list and would love to have your input.

Marion Barry
The flamboyantly and energetically corrupt former mayor of Washington, D.C.
Party: Democrat
Elected Offices:Mayor, Councilman
Crimes he committed:Soliciting a Prostitute, Drug Use (pot, crack), Obstruction of Justice, Tax Fraud, generally being a dumbass and embarassment to Washingtonians and rational black people everywhere
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: TK
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Richard (“Dick”) Cheney
A marginal player until chosen by George Bush Jr. as his vice president, Cheney was best known as the guy who lost an election to a dead man
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congress, Vice Presidency
Crimes he committed: Fraud
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

William (“Bill”) Clinton
The grand hope of the centrists, presented as reasonable, compassionate, concerned with the little man, he will carry to his grave such idiocies and gaming as "depends on what your definition of is is" and "I did not have sex with that woman." Looks like the little man in his pants was getting way too much compassion.
Party: Democrat
Elected Offices:Governor, President
Crimes he committed: Perjury, Sexual Harassment
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Randy (“Duke”) Cunningham
Presenting himself as a moral paragon, a decorated military pilot, Cunningham took bribes to steer military contracts.
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congress
Crimes he committed: Bribery
How strong is the case?:
Convictions:
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Thomas (“Tom”) Delay
TK
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congress
Crimes he committed: Fraud
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Robert (“Bob”) Frist
The doctor who was gonna make it all better, he should spend some time diagnosing his own habits
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congress
Crimes he committed: Fraud
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Albert (“Al”) Gore
Those buddhist nuns. That absurd fundraising. Al, we hardly knew ya.
Party: Democrat
Elected Offices:Congress, Vice Presidency
Crimes he committed: Fraud, Perjury
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Richard (“Dick”) Nixon
Sleazy from Day one, and always presenting himself as a model of Christian rectitude, the question is not what crimes did Tricky Dick commit, it's which ones didn't he commit?
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congress, Vice Presidency, Presidency
Crimes he committed: Fraud, Perjury, Money Laundering, Obstruction of Justice, everydamn thing else.
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: None (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Robert (“Bob”) Packwood
Oh, he packed wood all right. Just ask any of the dozens of women asked to get to know his wood. After years of political power maintained in large part by his image as a champion of women's rights, he left office in disgrace when it came out that he damn near stripped the clothes off any woman who he liked, whether she liked it or not.
Party: Republican
Elected Offices:Congressman
Crimes he committed: Sexual Harassment, Perjury, Intimidation of Witnesses, Impeding an Investigation
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: TK (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

Gerrold (“Jerry”) Springer
An up-and-comer until he did his, erm, coming, with a lady of the evening and paid with a check.
Party: Democrat
Elected Offices:Mayor
Crimes he committed: Sleeping with a prostitute
How strong is the case?:
Convictions: TK (yet)
Pending Cases:xxx
Positions on Crime Taken as an Elected Official:TK
Quotes on unethical behavior:

-Rustin

Some more

[Interrobang]

Your format's too damn much work, Rustin. I can give you some more names, but you'll have to format them yourself. Rep. Bob Ney, fraudster (indictment pending); Georgia Superintendent of Schools Linda Schrenko, thief of federal education moneys (indicted); Bill Janklow, former four-time South Dakota governor and state Representative, vehicular homicide (convicted, sentenced to 100 days in jail).

A handy chart called Conservative Values Monitor [pamspaulding.com] here. Information on miscreant and felon Democrats to follow

Re:Some more

[gmhowell]

Not only that, but the son of a bitch Janklow also successfully (?) petitioned the bar to have his law license reinstated. That shmuck.

Marion Barry will likely soon be investigated and/or charged with parole violations. Drug test came up positive. (OTOH, at least Marion joined Carol Schwartz in saying "enough is enough" to MLB in DC)

Criminal Politician Trading Cards!

[spun]

Seriously, you could make a mint off of this. Pictures on the front, stats on the back. Oh my God! Wait! Criminal Politician Trading Card Game. You play a power broker trying to get his slate elected, each politician has different powers, and there are also legislate, lobby, and indictment cards with various effects. This could be huge!

Yep, there's bunches of 'em

[perfessor multigeek]

Ah, a nice little start. Thanks, Sara, for the wonderful link.
Among other things, I must admit that I've been curious to see if certain famous sleazoids (such as the hair-impared Trafficant) would turn up if I didn't mention them.

And, yes, if I have time and cash, I actually have considered doing trading cards. Really. I mean it. I included doing various lines of trading cards on folks like this in my first proto-Reed&Wright business plan back in '96. Though actually I always wanted to start with Mad

Re:Yep, there's bunches of 'em

[Interrobang]

Who would you put on a Mad Scientist Trading Card, and will you autograph my set?

Mad Scientist Trading Cards

[perfessor multigeek]

Who would I put on Mad Scientist trading cards? Who wouldn't I?
Lessee, we've got C.V. Boys, Nicola Tesla, Feynman, Da Vinci, Pythagoras (he had a freaky little scene going there), Archimedes, Edwin Land (hacker that he was), Howard Hughes, and on and on and on.

Actually, I'd also prefer to include such fictional characters as Verne's various inventors, Poindexter, and so on, but will probably refrain for them thar annoying legal reasons.

-Rustin

Re:Mad Scientist Trading Cards

[Interrobang]

I nominate Joseph Ossanna. Anyone insane enough to code a sophisticated text processor for the first version of UNIX (Bell Labs used it to process patent applications) deserves Official Mad Scientist[TM] Status. I might also nominate Alexander (Leshek) Kohn, virologist and founder of the Journal of Irreproducible Results, later to become the Annals of Improbable Research.

Campbell

[eglamkowski]

Former mayor of Atlanta Bill Campbell is on trial right now on federal corruption charges. Everybody else in his administration has gone to jail for corruption, so you just know he's gotta be guilty as sin (whether or not the government proves its case beyond a reasonable doubt).

James Trafficant (D-OH). It was funny to watch him being expelled from the House. Both because his own speeches at the time were quite damning, and probably more truthful than anything his colleagues were saying at the time, and

Re:Campbell

[perfessor multigeek]

Yeah, the Campbell trial looks to be a window into all sorts of sleaziness. In theory (given my Unlimited Time and Infinite Resources (TM)) it would be cool to list not just indiviuals but administrations and eventually use that dataset to back up the creation of a whole new type of RICO charge, charging an entire administration as a criminal enterprise.

Now, that would shake things up, neh?

-Rustin

And our latest contestant is . . .

[perfessor multigeek]

New York Times,
March 12, 2006

Former Bush Aide's Arrest Surprises Friends and Colleagues
By IAN URBINA and ROBERT PEAR

WASHINGTON, March 11, The arrest on theft charges of Claude A. Allen, who until recently was President Bush's top adviser on domestic policy, was an apparent fall from power that surprised and mystified his friends and former colleagues.

Mr. Allen, who resigned from his post as an adviser to Mr. Bush last month, was arrested on Thursday in Montgomery County, Md., where the police said he