Journal bellus quies's Journal: Sleepless musings & trying to let it go. 9
(As I mentioned in my last journal, this is what I wrote this morning but forgot to post...)
Damn. It's 4:30 in the morning and I've been up since 2. With only 4 hours of sleep tomorrow's going to be a bear.
I'm just frustrated. It turns out that G's coming out Saturday Night to play pool with my boyfriend and his sister. All that "too busy" to talk to me was absolute bullshit.
I'm frustrated because it seems like I'm trying to get water from a rock. That I'm wanting something that just won't happen with G. That I'm wanting him to try and be nice to me and he's just not capable of it. That he has no motivation to be nice to me because my boyfriend will always be there for G no matter what he does, so G has nothing to loose.
Me however, I have the motivation to be nice to G and try and get along because I want to be with my boyfriend. And my boyfriend had made it perfectly clear through his words and actions that G is a deal-breaker in the relationship. That he holds his friendship with G as such an integral part of his personality that to deny G would be to deny himself.
That my boyfriend says that all he wants from me is to be accepting of G. To have me not have to like him, but be cordial with him. But how do you be cordial and ignore the things someone did that hurt you? Because G is always there. Any time I get together with my boyfriend's family G will be there. G is always there in the stories my boyfriend tells me of both his past and present. I made the joke the other day that G seems like my boyfriend's hetero-life partner. My boyfriend laughed, but I'm also afraid that it's true. That however much I want to be the partner to my boyfriend, he's already filled that position and there is no room for me.
that's a tough position (Score:1)
But from what you've said, you really have gone above an d beyond what most people would consider extensions of friendship and been rejected. I don't know what else your boyfriend expects you to d
I'm sure you have already asked yourself this... (Score:2)
...but is this relationship worth having your boyfriend's friend along? It sounds like an awkward situation to say the very least, but consider what it will be like if you decide you wish to marry your boyfriend. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, where there is no one else within the "inner circle" (for lack of a better expression). I gather from what you have written that this will not be the case. Are you willing to commit to this kind of scenario? Are you willing to commit to someone who has stat
Autism (Score:2)
He sounds perfectly normal for what he is -- but you seem to be expecting him to behave like every other normal person you know. That ain't gonna happen, but you're making yourself miserable over it.
Just
Re:Aspergers? (Score:1)
As for his obsessing over things, it's cars, specifically Toyota. In the months that he lived with my boyfriend and I he was always on the computer looking up things about cars and posting on Toyota boards. I even accidentally walked into him in the bathroom when he forgot to shut the d
Re:Autism (Score:2)
Sounds like he handles his life similarly to the way I handle mine. When people I don't like come around, I leave. I make it a point to avoid them whenever possible. It makes life a lot easier. It avoids unecessary conflict. The way I look at it is that I can either spend time wi
Re:Autism (Score:1)
Ya, I think that concept is finally sinking in to my thick skull. Maybe it will take a bit more banging my head against the wall. But eventually I'll get it.
Needs (Score:2)
Behavior patterns tend to evolve in response to needs (and wants, to a lesser extent). Be aware of whose needs are being satisfied by what behavior. Including your behavior. T