CristalShandaLear's Journal: Sometimes it Snows In April

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish life was never ending,
and all good things, they say, never last
-Prince

Ain't it the truth?

I used to think that this was just a really cool, if not obvious, title of a Prince song but now I know it's true.

After an entire week and two days we buried my father today. The weather this week was off an on rainy but yesterday was thunderstorms and hail. Today was steady to pouring rain all day with intermitent snow.

It's hideous to wait this long for a funeral after a death but there was another death in the family and he died first so he got to have his funeral first. Sounds like kids fighting over who gets shotgun on the heaven express but in reality it's just every day planning and practicalities. First out (of life) first in (the grave) and on to Glory.

Or at least that's what they said today at the funeral. Guess I'll find out eventually.

Anyway.

After three months of hospice and the final hospital stay complete with social workers assuring us my dad would probably be around for another year or so (which means, lace your shoes quick because a year in hospice language means a week tops) and then the 9 day drag to the funeral, I was all grieved out.

I went to the funeral today in a sort of detachment that was odd. Everyone else was crying and sobbing or shouting (cuz that's what black folks do in chuch for a "homegoing celebration"). And I'm like, it's been a week and two days already. HOW much longer am I supposed to be grief stricken?

Don't get me wrong. I love my Dad and I will truly miss him. But you can only grieve for so long before the couch becomes your best friend and gaming seems like a permanent occupation.

So, I'm getting back into life starting tomorrow.

I hope it's not to soon, but I've got to get off the couch. With my luck, even though it's April, I'll probably have to get up to shovel snow.