SarahAnnAlien's Journal: Four Days to Car

I thought I was doing better last night; I felt a lot calmer. But then, when I went to bed, I had all kinds of weird, disturbing, confusing dreams that I couldn't remember. In the middle of the night I woke up startled and confused. The clock said it was just after 4am.

When I woke up a few hours later, I read online that we had an earthquake at 4:06am.

Great, now my nightmares are causing *earthquakes*, too! Sigh.

The insurance papers for my car came today. Now not only am I a fully legally insured motorist, but I can prove it too.

And my car arrives in four days.

I have two monitors at work, and I changed the background on one of the monitors to be the picture of my car that Dad sent me. I stared at it a lot today.

At one point I cried a little. Not the happy kind of tears, either.

I don't know what that means.

The doctor's office called today to confirm my appointment for tomorrow. I mentioned that they had gotten my name wrong last time and asked if they could update everything to try and make sure that it doesn't happen again tomorrow. The woman was very nice, and very apologetic, and checked, and said that it was okay.

Why have I been so angry about that for three months? Will it happen again tomorrow? If not, will I stop being angry? If it does happen again, will I be angry forever?

What will the doctor want to do differently? Will he be willing to do something differently? Or will he simply dismiss my complaints? If he ignores me, what will I do instead? Actually, the last is an easy question... if he ignores me, I'll do what I have to do. With his help or without it.

Is it really time to start talking about surgery?

Have I ever mentioned that I *really* don't like doctors?

I have driving lesson number five in the morning. I think we're going to drive down near where the doctor's office is. Then in the afternoon, I'll have to take the shuttle bus down to the same place. Tomorrow will be a long day.