I have found myself half-heartedly wishing I get fired from my engineering job. I fucking hate what I do, but I do appreciate that it is work at least. Still, I feel like this job sucks the life right out of my very existence. I am now getting more work, but I still don't care about what I do. It is all too boring.

I can only hope that this is just a phase and passes quickly. Otherwise, I will eventually truely be fired, because I really only put about 5% effort into my work here.

Onto lighter subjects, the people who run my apartment finally fixed my shower faucet. It only took 4 reminders and nearly 2 months, but my apartment is no longer being heated by running water. In case I haven't mentioned it before, since I moved in to my apartment in February the hot water in the shower did not turn all the way off. This didn't bother me much in the winter(free heat), but when warmer weather came it got real irritating. Plus it was loud, and only got louder when I had to turn on some cold water to counter the heating forces of the hot water.

Needles to say I am pretty happy now to have a quiet and cool apartment for the first time since I moved in.

Oh and I made plans recently to go back and visit Cleveland again. I will be spending another weekend of drunkenness there from Aug 21-24! I can't wait. Bring on the Beer Die Tournament!

Hulk: Half Sink
This was an excellent portrayal of such a dark and introspective character. I was amazed at the intimacy with which Ang Lee told this story. Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelly(Sooo very hot. Want to touch the hieny) were excellent as the two leads.

About Schmidt: Half Sink
This is a great movie, and a wonderfully sad tale. I think it is a beautiful tale about how you can have everything you could ever want and still not find happiness.

Terminator 2: Half Sink
This is still a classic and any fan of films should see this at least once. One word is enough to describe this, Classic.

Once Upon A Time In America: Hit
This is a four hour long movie about friends set in gangland New York over a 50 year period. It is wonderfully played out, but there are parts of the story that just seem silly(this is especially true towards the end of the film). Once again, Jennifer Connelly is hot(even at 14 or so).

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: Half Sink
This is a great story with wonderful acting by the lead characters. What truely makes this movie great though is the wonderfully epic score. The main theme is hauntingly familiar to the main theme from 'Band of Brothers'(both by Michael Kamen).

Black Hawk Down: Full Sink
This is such a powerful movie. The sacrifice those soldiers made and the courage they showed is amazing. A wonderfully graphic and moving tale, well deserving of the loads of praise it has received.

Below - Half Sink
Great story, and some seriously scary moments. Makes me glad I don't work in a submarine.

Say Anything - Hit
Larry Dobbler is my hero. This is a good story about a guy with more balls than John MacLane. I only wish I had half the cajones John Cusack's character has in this one.

We all know "That Guy". He is the one who makes the biggest impressions at parties and social gatherings. None of his impressions are good however.

This weekend, I attended a wedding(see previous jounal entry). Anyway, before the wedding a group of us were discussing who was going to be "That Guy" at the wedding reception. Actually, we were discussing this during the time between the wedding and the reception while a large goup of us got drunk at a bar. Many names were thrown out as candidates, myself included. Thing was, I was the only one trying to be "That Guy", and I told people as much. Yet, I still was not the odds on favorite going into the night.

Well, guess who was "That Guy"? Me. Me. Me. Me, too. I got so drunk within the first hour, I was stumbling around outside, falling out of my chair, and just plain making a drunken ass out of myself. I blacked out before dinner, ate food and passed out shortly after that. Thankfully, from what I have been told, I only degraded myself and did not act like an ass to others.

Best part was, I woke up a few hours later in the back of a car with people going to the bar. So, I decided to get my second wind, a continue drinking. Had a fucking great time. Spent way too much money, didn't hit on enough women, nearly got arrested in my hotel, and couldn't find my room key so I had to stay in another room.

Sunday, I played a few games of Beer Die before my flight left. Well, I forgot my cell phone at my friends place, so I ended up upgrading my flight and leaving the next day. This meant I could drink more on Sunday night. But we only had 1 hour at the bar. So, myself and a friend went to the bar and ordered 4 shots each with two beers each for chasers. We drank them all in roughly half an hour. This led me to black out once again. I woke up the next morning with our beer glasses in my pockets and some other various stolen items laying all over me.

Then I flew home. Fucking one hell of a weekend.

I thought I would start a weekly journal entry on the movies I have seen in the last week, whether on DVD or the Big Screen. So here goes in no particular order:

25th Hour: Half Sink

This was a truely remarkable movie, about a man who made some poor choices in life and is paying the consequences. I love the "Fuck You" scene. Ending was good, but felt off to me.

Equilibrium: Full Sink

This is a truely powerful film about a dystopic future. Christian Bale is wonderful as a man who goes from cold, emotionless killer to full emotions. The action is stunning and nearly on par with anything done in cinema. Everyone should see this film. Cannot say enough good things about it.

Dances With Wolves - Director's Cut: Half Sink

Truely epic master piece. This is about an hour longer than the theatrical version, and as such plays out slower. But it is still moving and just as good. Wind in His Hair has the best ending speech ever.

Family Guy - Vol. 1: Full Sink

Funniest animated show to grace the small or Big screen. So many jokes and tangents it is just a physical work out laughing so much.

Platoon: Hit

This is a really good war movie. I really felt for the guys in 2nd platoon. But Charlie Sheen's voice over seems detracted and monotone.

Contact: Full Sink

Love this movie. Powerfull performances in an equally powerfull story. I think it does a good job of showing why Religion and Science are so far apart, and yet they are so close together.

Notes on my rating system:

Full Sink : Excellent, no time for the bar I got to see this one again
Half Sink : Great, must see this again when I am sober
Hit : Good, maybe I should tell my friends about this
Miss Hit : Ok, atleast I was drunk
Passed Out : Why God? Why???

I fucking hate weddings. Let me say that more clearly, I FUCKING hate weddings.

Maybe I am just a single guy who hasn't had a legitimate date with the opposite sex in...oh, two years, but weddings are complete shit. Overblown acts of pomp and circumstance, that if you so even as make a small peep about such rediculousness, you get flogged for it. I don't need to invite 1000 relatives I have never met nor care about just to say I truely care about someone, balls to bones care about them. It's a fucking stupid show, and I hate it.

What I hate even more is going to a wedding for someone else. I feel wonderful for my friends when they get married, don't get me wrong. But, all I end up doing at weddings is getting as trashed as possible so I can forget about what I am missing. Not that I mind getting drunk, it is one of my favorite activities. Still, for those of use who are still single and have been for a while, weddings are a depressing sort and not something to look forward to.

Needless to say, I am attending a wedding for a good friend this weekend. I am very proud for him and his soon to be wife, but a part of me hates it. So, I will be there gift in hand, a big smile on my face, only kind words to say, no woman on my arm, and my drinking mentality in full effect.

I have seen the Matrix Reloaded twice now, and I'll be damned if it doesn't get a whole lot better with that second viewing. Don't get me wrong, I loved it after the first viewing, but I love it a whole lot more after the second. All the monologues take on new meanings upon seeing them a second time. The story shows you a whole new level of intricacy that was hidden during the first showing. That totally rocks.

I do still have problems with it. The Burly Brawl gets down right stupid towards the end when Neo is jumping on all the Smiths' heads. And there are parts where you can clearly tell it is CGI. The detail level seemed to be to high for the CGI so the transitions from real to CGI didn't look seemless.
Also, did we have to see the strange matrix code orgasmic explosion in the Merovingian scene? It seemed plain silly to me.

What rocked? Well, the fights were cool, but for me it was the story and philosophical monologues that made the movie. Loved every minute of the Oracle, Counselor, Merovingian, Morphius, and Architect.

The movie was so thought provoking that I wanted to buy a video game system just so I could play the Enter The Matrix video game. From what I understand it fleshes out more of the story and characters from Matrix Reloaded

Final Rating: Full Sink (A Must See film for 2003)

It has been awhile since I last wrote in my journal, so I thought I would update it.

Ok, I used to be real big into computer games. Starcraft(to me it was Star-crack) was my chief game of choice. Anywho, I eventually traded video games for another game. Perhaps i have mentioned it before in my journal?

Well back on topic, this past weekend I decided to end this video game dry spell by purchasing an XBox. I really only bought it because I wanted to play the Enter the Matrix video game and since I don't have a computer I needed a video game system. I also wanted to purchase a little gem of a game called Kung Fu Chaos. This is the most hysterical game ever. So blatantly racist towards asians and 70's kung fu it is funny. Needless to say, my CCity store didn't have either game in stock! I was pissed as all hell. So I settled for the Lord of the Rings: Two Towers game instead.

My actual point is, while I was buying the system I had to listen to one of my geek boy co-workers complain that I was buying a shitty system. OK, I can except everyone's love for PS2, because it is a good system. Unfortunately, I don't like playing GTA or Gran Tourismo or really any of the other exclusive PS2 games. Plus, the XBox has better graphics. So why the fuck should I buy one if it isn't the right system for me? Cause it has more games? Nope. Cause it looks cool? Nope, but it does have some apeal there. Cause it can play DVD's out of the box? Nope. Cause Micro-shizzle is evil? Yep, that's it. Poor, poor Sony. They just play the sweet nice company competing fairly agianst Micro-shizzle's evil empire. Give me a fucking break you Sony fanboys.

Oh, and I did consider Gamecube, but I really don't play enough video games as it is to completely warrant one system, let alone two. I would get Gamecube before PS2 also, cause I like the games on Gamecube better. If that's a problem, go fuck your PS2's disc drive.

I have worked a few projects in my short time at my current job. I thought I had finished all of them, apparently I was wrong. My boss tells me that I am the point man on one of them last week. This means if there are any questions or problems with the project, everyone is to come and talk to me. Yeah, :(. But, I figured since I hadn't heard anything in a few days all was well. I was clearly mistaken, as now I have a meeting about said project this afternoon. I also had to rush a project proposal revision for this meeting.

Normally this would seem like a step in the right direction as far as getting some god damned work my way, but not in this case. Here, I truely have barely a clue as to what I am supposed to be doing. Generally, I would ask, but the impression my boss is giving me is that I already know(and should know). I am up shit creek without a fucking clue or paddle.

On top of all this, my boss came to me this morning saying that I needed to come in on Sunday. Whatever happened to waiting until Friday afternoon to ask shit like that? I live and die by what I learned in Office Space and then my boss pulls a stunt like this. Damn am I fucked.

Why couldn't I have gotten a job in Management?

So, yesterday I was quitely sitting at my desk entering in stats into an online database for a little game I have professed much love to already. Well, while I am doing this, my boss has the nerve to ask if I have any work to do. Couldn't he see that I was busy entering in stats? Of course he couldn't, so he reminds me that I have projects that he assigned to me a week or so ago(I can't remember dates very well after I have been drinking). I immediately thought,"Oh shit! This is where he realizes I don't do a damn thing and he fires me. Oh well, maybe this will motivate me the next time. Nah." Thankfully, my boss just told me and my desk buddy to finish up our work as soon as possible. So, being the good worker that I am, I first finished entering in online stats then I went to work on the stuff they pay me for. I love my job.:)

Oh, and I went back to work at Circuit City yesterday evening. This was my first day back after nearly getting fired from there too. I detect a continuing theme here. Anyway, everyone there asked me what happened to me, almost like I had died. It was kind of amusing. Even more amusing was when I told them that I spent my time away from Circuit City getting hammered. I guess not acting like a retard at work means you must not drink, EVER. Jesus, retail employees are fucking stupid; with the exception of myself, of course.

Driving for 8 hours after working 8 hours sucks. Thats what I did last Thursday as I drove by myself from Philadelphia to Cleveland. Yep, never doing that again. Anywho, I got lost once I got to Cleveland. I mean I only lived there for 4 yrs, but still I managed to get lost.

It was a kickass time once I got into town though. From Thursday night to Sunday morning. Non-stop fun. Sunday afternoon, I had lunch with a few friends before we all parted ways(we had friends in from Kentucky and Illinois). Anyway, that was when the fun stopped.

See now I had to drive back to Philadelphia. The difference this time being that now I was hungover from the weekend. I thought I was going to pass out on the road like 6 times. And then all I could think about was, "Fuck it. I should've just stayed in Cleveland. It is more fun there anyway. Who needs a job?" But, I made it back home at midnight only to find that I had no food, no clean clothes, and a large pile of dirty dishes.

Man, Philadelphia sucks. Anyone know of some good jobs in Cleveland?

So I went back to Cleveland to visit some friends this weekend. It was a great time. Lots of beer die(see my previous journal comment) and I got to see a lot of friends I have not seen in quite a few months.

But since I work two jobs I had to request some days off. Aparently, my one boss is a complete illiterate piece of shit, because after telling him once a week for a month that I needed the weekend off, the fucker never gave me the time off. Only I didn't know this going into the weekend.
So I called sunday morning to see if I needed to work on Monday. I was a little drunk from the night before so my speech may have been a little impaired, but not funny enough to warrant the copious amounts of laughter I heard on the other line when I asked if I was scheduled to work. It seems, this is when they decided to tell me(still laughing at me, of course) that I decided to not show up for any of my shifts over the weekend. Yeah, so I was fired. Good times.

Thankfully, through my years of convincing professors to extend deadlines and the such, I talked my way back into my job. Not to mention the fact that the whole situation was my boss' fucking fault. So, I guess I did learn stuff at college other than how to play Beer Die.

Some of you readers may not know what game this is, so let me inform you a little.

Beer Die is a game that challenges your athletic abilities and hand-eye coordination and your drinking stamina. Beer die is a little game that is played with you and 3 friends(aka drinking buddies). Now the rules vary regionally, but the basic game is the same. Get a standard rectangular table(about 3'x5' is good) put a 16oz plastic cup at each corner and fill it with beer. Then you pair up with a friend. The goal is to throw a normal 6-sided die at the cups on the opposite end of the table. The opponent tries to "defend" the cup as you throw.

If you hit the cup, score 1 for your team and the defender drinks. If you miss and the defender catches, score 1 for the opponents and you drink. If you hit and the defender catches all is square and no need to drink(unless you are thirsty); same goes for neither hit nor catch. If the dice sinks in the cup, the opponent drinks what is in the cup. The game is over when all the beer on one teams side is finished. Oh yeah, the dice is thrown underhand. Players throw to one opponent and catch from the other opponent. Team play is key, but one player can lift a team to victory.

This game is highly addictive(I have several friends who failed out or nearly failed out of college because of it) and surprisingly intense. Rivalries abound as one player can quickly make his opponent suffer through a series of scores. I always found it to be highly entertaining to watch, as teams can go from being one score away from victory to losing in almost no time at all. On top of all this, you can get seriously drunk after 2-3 games!

My friends and I keep stats and yearly have several tournaments(Masters, w/ Green Jackets; Pro-Am, experienced players draft an unknown partner; Players Championship, Single player competition; Olympic Beer Die, Played on 4'x8' Table). Anyone who plays beer die and has tournaments would argue that Beer Die has the best championship!

If you think I am just a crack head do a google search on Beer Die.

I may not be well read on the worlds religious faiths, but here are my thoughts on things.

Islam seems to be a religion catering to the poor and ignorant. The clerics seem to hold all the power in islam, which only further feeds the ignorance among its members. I am not even speaking of the muslim world of the middle east and south pacific, but even in america the growth in islam is predominently from young minorities(many of whom are under privilaged). I think it is easy to see why so many suicide bombers and extremist groups come out of islam. Ignorant people by and large are also easy to control and bend to your(any cleric or extremist leader) will. When your base populous has nothing, it has everything to look forward to in death.

Judeo-Christianity, I will lump together since they seem to be in bed with each other since WWII. This religion baffles me how it exceled in swelling to so large a gorup, since it demands strict adherence to its beliefs. While this isn't unique, it would seem to me that a religion open to ideas would be more likely to spread than one that accepts no change or discussion. Yet somehow even after being the driving force behind some of the worst wars in history, this religion is the most predominent on the planet.

Together all three of the big monotheistic religions have caused me trouble. How can a religion spread so easily through a populous, especially a so called educated populous, by using tools that creat veils of ignorance on the believers. All three seem to state that those who are not of their faith will be damned, and those who do believe will find great rewards in death. how can all three be right?

my belief is that all three started as tools for a powerful select few to control the masses with ease. When these religions started, nearly everyone was il-literate. So lets write all our beliefs in very large obscure books, so only a few people can 1) read them and 2)Even fewer can decipher what in the hell they mean. Hence the rabii's, cleric's, pastor's, etc. who run the various chapters of each faith and must "study" the books all their lives.

In these books are tales on how people should act and behave to each other. These are merely elaborate ways of creating laws for a society(not unlike hamurabi's code). Without these there might be chaos. Much of this can be seen in why pig and seafood are not allowed to be eaten in Islam and Jewdisim. See, back in the day(anytime after this last century, and still in many third world countries) these foods could not be consistently cooked properly, so the parasites that exist in them would make people sick. Solution, tell people they can't eat the foods that make them sick, so no pork or crab meat for johnny islam and jacob jew. Another example is the common belief among all three that birth control is bad. See back in the day, lots of children didn't make it into adulthood thanks to disease and lack of good nutrition. Solution, encourage people to have large families with lots of kids, that way atleast some should survive(just like animals do in the rest of nature). Islam has a similar belief in their need to have large families, though the placement of value on males is misguided in this respect. Therefore the Koran, Bible, and the name of the jewish book escapes me are nothing more than writings on how to ensure civilization continues.

The problem that occurs is that now in modern times, much of the ills of yester year are gone. Child mortality is not the problem it used to be. So the continued teaching of the inflexible beliefs leaves us worse off by burdening society instead of helping it. Thankfully, many judeo-christian homes don't hold so dearly to the large family desires as they used to. But, the battles over abortion are still leaving us with societal burdens that are not necesary and could be easily removed. And, food can be cooked properly, so as to kill all or most food born illnesses. This removes the need for people to eat kosher, yet even this still persists. These religions are perpetuating self destructive behaviors that are no longer pertinent to the times.

In all honesty, if you need to feed a belief in something greater than yourself, believe in this. Humans can do amazing things when they work together, but working against each other they do far more dangerous great things. Society, living in peace, is the greater part of each person. Doing whats best not only for yourself, but society as a whole should be the first thought that comes into your head. To me human society is God, that is why man is created in his image and why God does not die so long as there is a civilization left to go on existing. Heaven is the feeling you did something to not only make your world a better place but your childrens world as well. Hell is knowing that you did not do all you could to improve the world.

man am i bored. why can't i get paid to sit on my ass while i am at home. at least then i could wash my dishes, which have piled up quite a bit over the last few days. oh, and maybe they turned my hot water back on so i can take a god forsaken shower. that would be nice.

why is it the movie industry releases a bunch of crap for about six months in the year(jan-april and sept-nov.) and gives us all of their good movies either may-aug or nov-dec. release dates? and it works similarly with dvds. some weeks there are 3-4 really good movies, others there are 0. fucking spread things out and you might actually improve sales, especially movies that don't seem to do well yet get good reviews.

oh and on the topic of dvd's, people need to get a fucking clue and stop buying fullscreen dvds. you are watching the movie in a crippled verion. it was never meant to be seen in fullscreen. if you don't like the black bars, buy a widescreen tv or don't watch the movie. buying a fullscreen movie is like buying a book with the first and last chapter removed, sure it doesn't change the whole story but it isn't the whole book.