OnStar: "Hello Captain Rittamer, this is OnStar, how may I help you?"
Captain: "I seemed to have been locked out of the cockpit by my suicidal/homicidal copilot, could you open the door for me please?"
OnStar: "I see that your copilot has directed the plane to crash in the Alps. I'll open the door for you right away so you can correct that."
Captain: "Thank you very much!"
OnStar: "Is there anything else I can do for you today?"