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User Journal

Journal Journal: Blizzard beat me to it

Damn that User 1.

Damn Blizzard and their foulness.

I myself was plotting a similar, yet entirely different, de-taco-fication of User 1, but Blizzard beat me to the punch. Now if I do it, everyone will yell Blizzard did it! Blizzard did it! Blizzard did it!

User Journal

Journal Journal: Shock and Awe 1

Taking hints from past leaders in history (namely A. Hitler and G.W. Bush) User 1 is a technique of "Shock and Awe" to paralyze those who oppose them into succumbing to his totalitarian rule.

First off, what Shock? That's a good question. First off all of the posts he rights start out with a +1 moderatorship. Why? To seem larger and more powerful than he actually is. Why would he want that? User 1 has many reasons. First and foremost is to remain the dictator of Slashdot. Under his regime Slashdot has grown massively, but has remained in economic turmoil for years. What does he have planned to fix this? I know (until I am proved wrong) that User 1 plans on taking over other, smaller websites, like Squishdot, whom he says poses a threat to Slashdot's "Hometurf." The idea of turf on the internet is ludicrous. The only place User 1 should have any say over is Slashdot, and even here his rule is questionable. Because Squishdot is essentially exactly like Slashdot, but without the Slashcode, User 1 plans to take them over with a two pronged attack. First he plans on linking to them "by accident" and DDoS their server with his soon-to-be-patented "Slashdot Effect." This Slashdot Effect is infamous for destroying poor and unsuspecting servers. I plan to analyze it in depth later. The second part of his attack will be one of propoganda. Slashdot is known to aid and house known terrorists or "cyber criminals." It will be quite simple for User 1 to create an Anti-Squishdot sentiment among these bad hackers. There are good hackers out there, but these bad hackers will attack Squishdot with a fervent and ceaseless attack similar to the Blitz that both Hitler and Bush used before him. Squishdot will be only the first casualty. After that Slashdot will sue, and possibly "Slash-DDoS," any remaining Slashcode competitors. Look out UBB.

User 1 also plans on using his ill-gotten power to awe any and all who oppose him into submission. With Slashdot still growing at an alarming rate daily it will soon be at the critical mass it needs to take over Microsoft by force. Whoa - wait! Did I just say that Slashdot was going to take over Microsoft by force?! Yes I did, and it's true. If you don't believe me, you don't read Slashdot, you merely look at Slashdot. I've yet to figure out when thousands of Slashdot users will throw their lives away for "justice." Unbeknownst to almost all Slashdot users is the fact that Microsoft has it's own clone army waiting for just an attack. The US government (under the supervision of Ashcroft) is investigating this and planning yet another "preventative war," but this time against Microsoft. With the US government on his side User 1 will wreak the kind of havoc only seen in the video games you and I play daily. Just think about it next time, that's all I can ask.

More to come beckons me.

User Journal

Journal Journal: The war has begun. 1

Today I began my own personal war against User 1: CmdrTaco.
  • Reason: I don't like him. (Note to self: think of better reason)
  • Goal: Have CmdrTaco expelled from Slashdot.

Since it is obviously a very daunting task to have User 1 expelled from Slashdot, my war will also likely end with my own expulsion from Slashdot. I am unaware of any previous bannings from Slashdot, and I'd like to be the first. If I do indeed become banned form Slashdot, a task quite daunting in and of its self, I will return with a slightly modified username, and a larger user id.

User 1, if you are reading this; it has begun

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