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User Journal

Journal Journal: Plan 9 Bunny declares war on all other mascots.

Sorry folks, but here's the deal. I might have a crazy sloped forhead, two small squinty eyes, and a torso the size of Texas, but I am the baddest motherfucking bunny in the mascot business.

Here's my proof:
Look at Tux. See that belly? He's lazy, obese, and probably doped up on the best Moroccan hash money can buy. He's a barbituate abusing pothead who hasn't left the couch in years. Probably diabetic from being so obscenely overweight.

Next, we've got this thing: FreeBSD Daemon
Again, a chronically overweight slackard who is more lazy, standing there with his staff, than your average state worker. The belly on that thing is just sick and wrong. Apparently, he and Tux frequent the same All You Can Eat China Buffet places.

Then there's this hedeious thing: GNU Head. Regard the smug look. What a pompus ass. Egomanical. A talker. One of those "Come on tough guy, lets do the man dance" types. Unwashed and rather putrid.

I represent clean, honest and badass principles in the mascot business. If you want to arrange a cage fight, whereby I will fucking trounce all other mascots, contact me.

I can't promise I will be able to pass any drug tests, however, and I need a few months lead time because I'm still smoking Lucky Strikes.

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