Did he nearly die choking on a pretzel?
Is choking a sign of missing intelligence? Are you saying that no one smart has ever choked on food? Sounds like you are trying to make a personal attack for political gain. That means you are a dick.
Is he starting an underfunded, ill conceived war while cutting taxes for the wealthy and destroying a budget surplus?
A quick glance at the Constitution will show you that Congress controls funding.
Is he suspending basic rights like habeas corpus and performing searches and seizures without warrants?
Are you trying to compare Obama to Lincoln? Do you know anyone that has their habeas corpus rights violated? Have the Feds kicked in your door and searched your house? Has this happened to anyone you know? No? The STFU!
Is he staffing FEMA with idiots, and then doing nothing while they fuck up a hurricane response?
Don't know yet. We have yet to see how Obama responds. As for Katrina itself, that was a major failure of the Governor of Louisiana and the Mayor of New Orleans. See, GW was a states' rights kinda guy. He extended the power of the federal government to the Governor and Mayor and they both refused help until the shit hit the fan. Then they were quick to blame the federal government for failing to take over Louisiana militarily. Wait, weren't you just bitching about GWB abusing power in your last question? Now you're bitching because he didn't abuse it enough? Make up your mind!
Is he nominating some inexperienced random woman for the Supreme Court?
Yes! Yes he did. Well, Sonia Sotomayor was not as experienced as she could have been. But she was nominated because evidently, people of a particular gender and race have life experiences that make them automatically qualified. Wait! I thought it was racist to claim that you were entitled because of your skin color? Oh, that's right. Only white people are racist (yes, I realize that saying so is actually racist. It was sarcasm that you wouldn't get because you agree with that statement.)
Is he standing on an aircraft carrier during some publicity stunt, claiming mission accomplished and the end of combat operations WEEKS into a war that has now lasted seven years?
Wait. Are you saying that mission=war? Really? You know, for the men and women on that aircraft carrier, the mission was accomplished. And it was them who hung that banner, not the president. As a veteran, I can tell you that there is a huge difference. I completed many missions and received medals for doing so, well before the war was actually over.
But, hey! Let's not let facts and definitions get in the way of your politically based rant. You don't want the truth to invalidate your hate, now do you?