so, I was reading a story and I noticed a guy had a sluggy freelance based
so, I was reading a story and I noticed a guy had a sluggy freelance based
First panel, new row (long): Oasis; but it's just her eyes and red bangs and nose. Kinda misty, we're fading in from white. Above floats the word:
Next panel: a completely darkened figure with huge but slightly slanted glowing eyes sits behind a desk. There is a door on the wall to the left, and a filing cabinet on the wall to the right, and an empty chair in front of the desk. This is the CEA, and she is speaking, with the same font Aylee's been using in Dangerous Days.
CEA: I'm afraid not. But I suppose I should welcome you to my office anyway.
CEA: I must say it is a surprise seeing you here. You must be a very, ah, unique individual to be able to remain. I don't suppose you have an explanation?
Next: now we see Oasis from a fuller perspective: this is giddy-as-a-schoolgirl Oasis, looking exactly as she was when we first met her on the Isle of Dr. Steve. She's standing in front of the empty chair, about to sit.
Oasis: Torgy said it didn't matter. He's going to marry me, that's the only thing that matters.
CEA (bubble comes in from off-camera): are you sure about that?
Next: Oasis is seated, face in her hands, red ponytails drooping.
Oasis: I don't know. I don't know anything.
Next: Oasis has looked up from her hands. Her ponytails have vanished, replaced by the burnt-short India-ink-dyed look from F&R. The font for her word lacks any embellishments but is large and carries all her anguish.
Next few panels: Bun-bun wakes up ("How many alfalfa margaritas did I have? My head is killing me") with the Shadow pestering him, Kiki pulling on his ears, he gets hopping mad, and sets out to find Aylee. In doing so, he runs across Chen - "You're the bastard that turned a situation I had under control into a crab shaped, poison injecting freak!" Ka-Click! Chen situation taken care of, in a somewhat bloody fashion. The action doesn't actually show this, but Kiki saying to Shadow "Bun-bun isn't staying very good, is he?" Concludes with bun-bun saying "Let's find that alien."
Next (longish panel): first 1/3:Torg is sitting on an overturned desk back to Riff, staring with his head in one hand at the now fully formed and solidified cocoon. Next 1/3: Riff's head is turned toward his right hip as the radio in his coat fizzes to life (last 1/3 is speech bubbles):
RADIO:Riff! Riff! This is Sasha, I hope we haven't caught you at a bad time!
RIFF: Go ahead.
Next: Riff holding the radio up to his face.
RADIO: I just wanted to let you know we've found our getaway vehicle. It's one of Hereti's surveillance vans, I think.
RIFF: That was fast.
Next: Sasha in a van similar to those we've seen before (e.g. Fire and Rain) speaking into another handset. Bert is on the floor, perhaps with the words "oh, crotch" drifting above his head, squiggly to indicate pain. Gwynn is in profile, kneeling by him. Schlock has his back to the action, apparently studying the surveillance equipment.
SASHA: Yeah, Gwynn told us where there was a building next to her parking lot labeled "NOT WHERE SURVAILLENCE VANS ARE KEPT" and we went straight over and broke in. They were surprisingly easy to hotwire.
RADIO: I take it everyone is fine then?
Sasha: Well, Schlock was ok once we got him moving, but Bert is going to need medical attention. He broke several bones when he hit that wall. Hey, I suppose I should get these Hereti Corp logos covered so we can get Oasis in here without her going ballistic, huh?
Next panel, similar to last riff&torg panel, Riff looking at Torg looking at the cocoon:
Riff: I don't think that's going to be so much of a problem any more.
END OF CONVERGENCE
Next: Torg stands in awe next to Riff. Riff is leveling his blaster at the cocooning form.
RIFF: Finally, we can take care of this-
Next: Torg is in Riff's face.
TORG: NO! Oasis may still be alive in there. The only thing Aylee did to hurt her was inject her with neurotoxin, and you and everybody else at the Halloween party woke up from that. Remember, Oasis can heal from just about anything. She'll be just fine, and pretty soon her she's going to tear her way out of that cocoon.
Next panel: Torg is near tears. Riff is adjusting settings on his blaster.
RIFF: I don't want to take that risk. Some of Aylee's transformations only took a few hours, and if she's able to adapt to what we've been throwing at her, she may come out of there completely unstoppable.
TORG: YOU OWE OASIS! It may have been Dr. Steve's brainwashing that made her the way she is, but you were the one who brought her here, knowing that she couldn't control her own actions.
Next panel: Torg and Riff running, side by side, weapons in hand. Background minimal, streaks to indicate motion.
TORG: But what about Bun-Bun? And Chen?
RIFF: I don't know how much longer we can expect Oasis to remain stable. I think I've found out a little more about this "Override B-1" she keeps shouting about, and...
Next panel (LARGE): backs of Torg and Riff's heads in lower left corner; rest is filled with scene of battle between Oasis and fully-shown Crab Aylee. This is in the same or at least the same sort of cubicle area Gwynn and Torg were in earlier; there are broken Cooler-bots strewn about as well as desks, cube walls, computers, filing cabinets, et cetera. Legs litter the ground, tendrils snake through the air. No part of Oasis is touching the ground as she executes a typical-Oasis gymnastic feat, sword over her head. Aylee's neck is extended as she attempts to bite down, snapping-turtle fashion, at Oasis' midsection.
Next: Aylee snaps down on thin air with a good onomatopoeic effect as Oasis twists out of the way, successfully hacking savagely at Aylee's exposed neck. This is gory.
Next: a single tendril, hurtling through the air.
Next: Torg, looking extremely distressed.
TORG: Oasis! Watch out, the tendril will-
Next: Oasis landing gracefully.
Next: the tendril enters Oasis' arm
Next: Aylee's fallen body takes up most of the background, the neck wound visable. Oasis collapses into the pool of Aylee's blood. The eye we can see on Aylee glows, as more tendrils fly towards Oasis' fallen form, green blood soaking into her hair.
Next: Torg about to run toward her
TORG: NO! OASIS!
Next: Riff is restraining Torg
RIFF: Aylee's not dead yet, we don't know what she might still be capable of-
LARGE PANEL: a blur of white surrounds Aylee and Oasis, a quarter circle against the nearby wall and floor: a cocoon.
First panel: roughly identical to the last panel of jul14's: Oasis has the blaster, Riff has an automatic that he's already reloaded several times, Torg has a semi-automatic. All three are shooting over their heads. Zappo, budda-budda-budda, and Bang! Bang! as appropriate.
Next panel (smallish): Aylee, similar angle as shown in 3 panels on jul14, but emphasizing bleeding from neck and lost leg.
AYLEE: Time for a tactical retreat.
Next: seen from an angle where Oasis, Torg, and Riff can be seen looking up to the hole in the ceiling, and that Aylee is moving off.
Last panel for the row: Oasis is doing a backflip thingy, her trajectory will clearly have her going through the hole in the ceiling and landing above. She's holding Torg's sword (a big point was made out of its presence already).
First panel, second row:
TORG: Good thing my old sword just happened to fall out of the truck before it burst into flames!
Meanwhile, Riff is picking up the blaster that Oasis dropped.
Next panel: Riff throws his automatic to Sasha.
SASHA: So I'm coming too, then.
Next: almost completely filled with Riff.
Riff: NO. Gwynn's blind, and Bert is badly hurt. You need to make sure they get out of here. Torg and I can take care of this.
Next: Sasha and Riff. Riff is studying the blaster. A speech bubble at the top of the panel rising up from below the frame, with squiggly text indicating pain. The source is
DR. SCHLOCK: I'm not doing so well myself, you know...
RIFF: Him too.
SASHA: And we need a replacement getaway vehicle.
RIFF: Just take care of the situation down here, Torg and I will be all right.
Well, here it is. I don't know how long the submission process for fanfic takes on sluggy.net, and I'm only considering this an alpha release anyway, and it's not even complete at that. Yeah, I suppose I could have put this up on a regular website or blogsite rather than exploiting Slashdot journal entry system, but I was using Mercuria on Slashdot before I decided to start posting on the Sluggy boards. It was just that until now, I didn't have much to say in this forum. So here goes: what follows is the first entry of my (presumably) alternate ending to Dangerous Days. It's written with the ultimate goal of a graphic novel in mind, but I have absolutely no drawing ability, so unless you want the whole thing to be T-shirt-Guy Tom style stick figures (I shudder) I ain't drawing it. If any of you Sluggites who happen across this are of an artistic persuasion, drop me a line with PM on the sluggy boards.
Sometimes, too long is too long. - Joe Crowe