Journal: Geeks and soul

Geek. Pejorative? Complementary? Vernacular colloquialism?

I have found that when it comes right down to it, I resent being called a geek. I don't resent it because of the geek stereotype, which I fit not at all. I don't resent it due to the inherent properties assigned by the term. I don't welcome it as a complement. I don't think of it as a friendly greeting from geek to geek.

No, a hard-core Unix dragon I may be, but a geek I am not.

I thought about it at length today, because I couldn't quite place the emotion summoned up when I read slashdot. I couldn't discern why I felt such a disconnection between myself and the 'geeks', even on things in which we agree. It struck me as I was reading through the 'Music program' article-- Geeks have no soul.

No, wait, hear me out! :>

Geeks look at everything, and they see everything as being dead. They look at music and see formulae. They look at art and see patterns to analyze. They look at the cosmos and see quantum physics. They look at a cloud and see fractal patterns. Looking at life, they see a biochemical stew. These people like anime because they despise the real world. The unknown is a pariah, an abomination, something which mustn't exist. It's not a puzzle, nor a fascination, nor a challenge. All questions must have solid answers, all explanations must be full, all 'art' must be mathematically interesting in some way.

In short, there is no sense of the asethetic, or the quality, or the joyous. All there is to life, for a geek, is dry analysis and struggle to solidify abstract concepts.

To someone like me, a pilot for the joy of it and not for the transportation, a musician for the expression not the technical perfection, a hockey player for the fun, not the exercise, a philosopher and a dreamer, rather than an experimentalist and statistician, this attitude is unpalatable, inexplicable, and unworthy. Modern art is usually an abstract mess, techno is (slightly) glorified midi, anime is often bad cartoonwork that goes out of its way to just be wierd, experimental music is usually just random noise, and the universe is a mystery that defies explanation from our vantage point. Life isn't about biology, reproduction, and disdain for the world in which we live, but instead is an adventure, a game in which the only way to win is to have as much fun as possible along the way. Life is not defined in solid numbers, but in abstract concepts. The wave-state is our paradigm, and we defy generalizations and catechism.

We seek quality in life, not just longevity. We seek expression in music, and not technical perfection. We seek that which is not mathematically provable, that which is not mathematically discernable, that which is not logically describable, but that which, instead, permeates and surrounds our very existence.

We are often placed with geeks due to our interests, often our intelligence, our place out-of-the-mainstream, and often our way of life. Nevertheless, while we don't have a label, a categorization, or a coherant body, we do exist.

We are here and there.

We are around you.

-Kysh