Journal: Jesus and the iPostles?

If Jesus were here today, would He have 12 iPostles? Would Paul blog an iPistle to the iPhesians? Readings from the Holy iBle would be very different; can't you hear the minister saying "A sound bite from the book of Podcasts, 00:09:23: 'Yo, Satan desires to crack your DRM, but I have set My holy encryption upon you.' Word!" On the day of pentecast the iPostles would miraculously podcast in MP3, WMA, WAV, AIFF, and Ogg Vorbis, and there would be 3000 "switchers" the first day... talk about the halo effect!