"text speak" is made up, it's not a word, but a made up phrase. Sometimes, for new things, you need new words.

What do you have against married chickens?

Better than being a couch potato.

only at the provincial level. New Brunswick is still the only official bilingual province recognize in the constitution.

No, it is not.

Nope.

New Brunswick is the only bilingual province. Quebec is uni-lingual.

Quebec is NOT bilingual.

ObamaCar

When I sell high, I always get the munchies.

You seem pretty secure on your high horse.

Je suez-vous parce que il n'ya pas de francais et poutine.

I wish to apologize for the anonymous coward's apology which merely is perpetuating the myth that Canadians apologize too much. Sorry about that, eh.
Je tiens à m'excuser pour les excuses présentées par le lâche anonyme qui ne font que se perpétue le mythe que les Canadiens excuses trop. Désolé pour ça, eh bien.

Burma Shave.

yah, I'll google how to use that.