For the next study, I recommend they compare the decibels of the Dyson Airblade dryer, as experienced by the user, to the decibels of a jet engine on the tarmac, as experienced by a baggage handler wearing ear plugs.

I'm betting the dryer would win.

Evidently CNN is too, based on how often they subject their viewers to him...

I like your term "commentariat" - very clever. To that, we might add "curserati" and maybe even "conspirocracy."

Just curious: why is that? Is there something inherently insecure about the design of Flash? Or, is Adobe simply negligent? Or, is this a ploy to coax users into accidentally installing adware each time they update?

(Please don't just answer "all of the above" - I'm looking for details here, especially if there is something inherently insecure about the design of Flash.)

I can just hear the ghost of Steve Jobs quoting Librace on such criticism: "I cried all the way to the bank."

Note to humor-impaired commenters: it's just a joke. :-)

Luckily, the IT folks wherever you work are smarter, more knowledgeable, and have more resources than us Kaspersky guys. (BTW, we're headquartered in Moscow...hint, hint...)

Note to self: don't forget to turn on that Trojan horse on Cybergeddon Day.

(Note to humor-impaired moderators: it's just a joke. :-)

Hey, maybe you're on to something... I'm beginning to understand now why Google paid $2 billion for Nest. Previously, I saw that as a couple of rich guys indulging themselves with stockholder's money (which is also partly their own - then again, Larry and Sergei have more to spare Google's other stockholders.) It makes a lot more sense, though, when you throw in the whole tinfoil hat thing: presumably, the Government (read: NSA) wants to know what temperature people find to be "comfortable" in their living rooms - and maybe even torture terrorist with the wrong setting, now that waterboarding has been discredited. And of course that's only the start: if the whole "IoT" thing really takes off, Google's (subsidized) Nest thermostat will be asking our refrigerators whether you and I need to buy another gallon of milk - and I say it's none of their darn business!

There's probably also a good tinfoil-hat reason that Microsoft paid so much for Nokia's money-losing phone division. I can't see any advantage for the Government (read: NSA) to subsidize that, but it just proves them Feds is a whole lot smarter than I am. And don't even get me started on NSA's nefarious plans for Minecraft...

Or maybe part of the endless Vim vs. Emacs debate: Vim fans tout "the Vim's alertness" and Emacs folks, tired of hearing it, respond with "threaten less Vims" and are relieved to hear that The Prophet Stallman "reseals tenth Vims" just in time to avert the coming apocalypse.

Or maybe it's a commentary on Candidate Trump, and Former Candidate Rubio for trying to beat him at his own game: "Statesmen Shrivel"

It's simply an anagram for "Heavers Smelt Nits." (Isn't that mostly what we do here?)

Waitaminute...are you suggesting that a business would pay $8.5 billion for something they give away, as part of a larger strategy of building a moat around the things they sell? Gosh, that's dastardly. No wonder everyone here thinks they're evil... ;-)

Well, sounds crazy to me, but if it actually works, maybe those Redhat folks should try giving away something and selling something different. Here's an idea - maybe they could give away free source code as part of a larger business strategy of selling service contracts or something.

Yeah, don't you just hate it when somebody pays $8.5 billion for something, then refuses to give it away. No wonder everyone here thinks they're evil...

(Note to moderators: Since the system here provides no "Irony" tag, please just ignore this comment if you don't get it. :-)

Would you consider becoming my running mate?

- Donald

You forgot this one: Only PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE companies making CLOSED software have bugs. The gnuPhone's modern appy app apps are 100% free, and since enough eyeballs make all bugs shallow, they don't have any bugs - not even Heartbleed!

(Disclaimer: like its parent, the preceding comment was just a joke. Since no response is necessary for a joke, this comment is ipso facto not a "Troll.")