You're obviously not a fan of deadpan humour...

Touch a nerve or something?

I'd love to see a clock that goes by the position of the sun in the sky rather than rigidly following the rotation of the earth. Lunchtime would always be at high noon, and your alarm would always go off at dawn. Fuck the lost time in the winter, spend it by the fireplace!

Actually, I'm with Larry on this one. If something doesn't work as advertised, how exactly does that help me, even if I know full well how to fix it? I just end up having to fix it over and over and over again for people who are clueless, thanks to other people that are also clueless. Fuck you all.

That one is gold, thank you very much :)

Pfft. When a computer is savvy enough to detect my personal opinion on political issues, then I will give you a cookie.

(and by detect I don't mean make an educated guess. I mean actually get inside my head and agree with me)

Dear sir, I will adopt your colourful neo-retro exclamation with gusto. By the twin moons of mars!

Currently I have this problem, that I share with many others. My city invests in this transport infrastructure that I am legally not allowed to use without spending hundreds on acquiring something called a 'licence' , and is impractical for me because of extortionate running costs, because of being grossly surplus to my requirements, and not to mention the initial financial outlay that I would have to spend on equipment to enable me to actually take advantage of it, using money that I would much rather spend on... ohh... just about anything else, for example chocolate biscuits or imported cheese or hand jobs. The system seems to have been developed by a culture that fell into a jibbering fever at the prospect of not having to do any physical exercise in order to get from one place to another, and is now spending trillions of dollars bombing defenceless desert dwelling peasants back into the stone age in order to support the economic balance that enables this lifestyle, simply because they have the audacity to live in a region that is rich in resources and didn't offer to share. Devoting this amount of public resources into such a dubious system seems questionable to me, but it then I am not an economist, health professional, historian, oil industry executive or city planner, so what the fuck would I know.

Here's the solution, shoot the drunk driver in the back of the head as an example to the rest of them, and then tell your brother it is safe to ride his push bike again.

Oh my fucking god, people like you actually exist.

That's great yeah, drive around all day and then go and spend your evening in neon warehouse full of steroid pumping narcissistic pricks because your car is making you fat. I'll be here, you know, enjoying THE WORLD, the one that WE LIVE ON.

I cycled every day for three months in the snow one year while visiting Germany, out in the country, minimum 8 miles to any destination of interest. I was actually too damn hot with what I was wearing! No one who whinges about this stuff has actually tried it, you know.

The bicycle is a high tech climate control device. You use it with shorts and a t-shirt, you get automatically air cooled! You use it with weatherproof snowboarding type stuff, you get central heating! What a miracle of engineering!

Pussy.

Thats rediculus! Why shuld I expected to do that evertime I cicle?

Same argument. Everyone wants you to wear a polystyrene hat so they can pretend they have fixed the problem and carry on running you off the road and surprising you with their doors.

I think he means the kind of football where you kick a ball with your foot, not the kind of football where you dress up in body armour and grope each other.

Meh. Traffic laws were invented to control your STEEL BOX OF MURDER, SATANIST!